Do you want your kids’ faith in Jesus to last? Me too. As I think about the way God made my own faith last, I remember one thing my parents did that profoundly shaped me.
Sitting around our walnut-brown table, we gathered as a family for dinner. Various smells filled the cranberry-colored room. We each showed up: a stay-at-home mom, a software engineer dad, and three sisters. We were all different, and arrived differently each day, but one thing remained the same: Before anyone took a bite, we went around the table, and each person prayed.
I heard my dad pray for our missionary friends, who reached Muslims for Christ in Indonesia. My mom lifted up the neighbor next door, whom she’d had over for coffee earlier that week. My older sisters thanked God for their friends. I asked God to help me in school before giving a final “Amen.”
This happened most every night in our home. Everyone at the table prayed — out loud. Not just Mom. Not just Dad. It didn’t matter how old the kids were. If you could talk, you got to pray. Different than a dreaded duty, prayer was a valued habit around our table. My parents showed us what a privilege and joy it was to talk to our all-powerful God, who hears every prayer.
You could call it a small prayer meeting before dinner. You could call it a daily grind to build prayer muscles in three daughters. You could call it the discipleship habit my parents started and didn’t stop. I call it one of the top ways they shaped my genuine faith in Jesus. As a kid, it felt like Acts 2:42 unfolding at the dinner table: “They devoted themselves to . . . the breaking of bread and the prayers.”
Fast forward to today. As a mom raising three young kids with my husband, I’m a rookie parent. We only have time for what is biblical and effective. That’s why I’m stealing this page from my parents’ playbook and encourage you to do the same. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just real and regular. After a childhood filled with family prayer, I’ve seen how God delights to use parents, leading prayer aloud around the table, to inspire kids toward lasting, bold faith in Jesus.
How Will Your Kids Learn to Pray?
Remember, we don’t shoulder the burden of saving our kids; that’s God’s doing, dependent on his grace (Titus 3:5). We shoulder the opportunity of discipling our kids. Thanks to the Scriptures and the Spirit, we are well supplied for the task.
When it comes to prayer, our kids will learn to pray (or not pray) somehow. What a gift that family prayer models how to talk to God! Be encouraged: This is something every Christian parent can start today. It’s simply praying out loud together. But to get more specific, what should families actually pray for? Consider four ideas.
1. Pray for boldness and opportunities to share the gospel.
Pray for unbelievers by name. Pray for their salvation and a soft heart toward God (Jeremiah 24:7). Pray for God to open a door for your family to share the gospel with specific people (Colossians 4:2–4). As a kid, I remember watching my parents faithfully share the gospel with coworkers and neighbors in everyday life and in our home. Their example taught me that sharing Jesus regularly isn’t for superstar Christians; it’s what we all do. They helped spark a deep love for the lost in my heart.
Courage inspires. Consider beginning a prayer time by sharing an example of ordinary Christians sharing the gospel, whether people you know or people you’ve heard about.
2. Pray for missionaries by name.
Share about the missionaries you are supporting. How are they being faithful to and sacrificial for Jesus? Tell of their example so that your kids can look up to them. If your family isn’t financially supporting a missionary yet, consider starting! Put their pictures on your fridge so your kids can see the people they lift up. Paul tells us of the impact intercession can make on a missionary’s trials: “I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance” (Philippians 1:19).
3. Pray for God to help you personally in your troubles.
If a father prays, “God, please give me wisdom and patience for this problem at work. I need your help,” won’t his kids be more likely to ask God for help in the problems they face? Out-loud prayer models dependence on God; we’re confessing that our own strength won’t cut it. When parents ask God for help quickly, they teach their children to ask him for help quickly. Put legs to the promise of Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
4. Ask your kids about their highs, lows, and concerns.
Let your kids’ lives inform prayer requests. When they grow used to sharing their hearts around the dinner table, connection will be built among siblings and parents. It’s a great practical application of Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” You can share your own (appropriately) to set the example, and they can follow.
Keep Praying
What if your kids don’t want to pray? Such moments are good opportunities for discipleship. Be patient in your tone. Reframe the prompt and say, “How about you tell God one thing you are thankful for?” If they keep declining, keep extending the invitation.
Do you have younger kids? Change it up, and try popcorn prayer. Allow your kids to say “popcorn” and the name of the person they select to pray next. Adding a playful aspect to prayer creates an upbeat atmosphere and gives kids ownership in family prayer.
What if dinnertime prayer doesn’t fit your family’s schedule? Family prayer can happen anytime, anywhere. During seasons when my husband came home late from work, we often didn’t eat dinner together. Family prayer happened before bed. We gathered in one bedroom with the kids, baby crawling all around, two kids under five years old on their bunk bed, but it worked. Try out a time that works for your family.
As a mom now, I realize the level of prioritization family prayer took for my parents. Many nights, I’m sure they were tired. I’m sure some evenings felt rushed. Even so, we didn’t skip praying around the table due to time. I remember my mom even reheating food sometimes after we finished praying! Here’s the trick: They didn’t mind the “inconvenience” of family prayer time. It makes me think: What inconveniences do we need to embrace in order to pray more with our kids?
When we embrace inconvenience, the reward is great. Praying together as a family means communing with God and one another. It trains up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). What a privilege to teach our kids how to talk to their heavenly Father. Let’s inspire a generation of kids to pray boldly to our great God.
Desiring God