Going ‘No Contact’ Is On The Rise — Here’s 3 Reasons Why

The “no contact” phenomenon is rapidly gaining traction, as secular media encourages young adults to “cut off” parents and family members at any sign of conflict.

According to a 2025 YouGov Study, 38% of American adults say they are currently estranged from a relative – an incredibly depressing statistic. Yet, in a time where families need each other more than ever, going “no contact” is constantly being proposed as a solution to minor familial disagreements.

What exactly does going “no contact” mean? An article entitled “6 Signs It’s Time to Go ‘No Contact’” explains:

It’s fairly taboo in most cultures to just cut ties with your family. (Blood is thicker than water, yadda, yadda, yadda.) But, sometimes, ending a relationship is necessary to protect your peace.

“[No contact] is ultimately a person saying, ‘This relationship has become so unmanageable for me, and staying in contact is no longer an option.’”

It’s something someone does when a relationship cannot continue in its current form (or exist at all) because of how it’s affecting your mental health and well-being.

In another article from the same website, the author encourages people to cut off relationships with their family members: “Life with my parents felt impossible, but once I chose to distance myself from them, the world became much easier to navigate.”

Laura Wellington, a mom who took to TikTok after being randomly cut off and uninvited to her daughter’s wedding, warns that estrangement is becoming a more normalized way to address family tension, even in cases without abuse or neglect.

“I was literally just completely blindsided by this,” said Wellington. “The pain of being cut off – it’s a pain you can’t describe unless you feel it.”

In an episode of Oprah Winfrey’s podcast, psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman said:

The old days of “honor thy mother and thy father,” “respect thy elders,” and “family is forever” has given way to much more of an emphasis on personal happiness, personal growth, my identity, my political beliefs, my mental health. So much so that today, “protecting my mental health” is the single most common thing that I see in every single letter from every estranged adult child.

However, recent research suggests that “family estrangement is significantly associated with lower life satisfaction and higher levels of depressiveness.”

Additionally, the Cornell Family Estrangement and Reconciliation Project writes:

The biggest regret for many older adults was an estrangement with a family member. Their advice to others was to do whatever possible to reconcile with estranged relatives rather than waste years – if not decades – in anguish and despair as they had done.

If family estrangement is so deeply regretted, what is contributing to the current “no contact” epidemic?

In an interview with Fox News Digital, Dr. Richard L. Blake suggests 3 reasons American adults are cutting off their parents.

The first involves differing beliefs. From political views to disagreements regarding romantic partners, any conflict of opinion has seemingly become a reason to separate from one’s family members.

“There were people more likely to cut off someone for having a differing opinion than for people who have done serious violent crimes,” said Blake.

Additionally, psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert told Fox News Digital:

I regularly work with families where estrangement isn’t driven by abuse or neglect as much as it is by political identity and voting behavior. … Parents are cut off because of who they voted for, what news they watch or the views they express. … What would once have been handled as disagreement is now framed as moral injury.

Social media or external influences may also encourage an adult to cut off their parents. A recent influx of “no contact” testimonials have reportedly inflamed the problem of familial estrangement in recent years.

“Someone might see a video on TikTok – ‘I cut off my parents, and I’m much happier now. They were toxic narcissistic boundary crossers. And now I’m great,’” said Blake. “And people mimic that. Or they think, ‘Oh, this person’s getting a lot of attention.’”

“It’s this lie they’re getting sold on social media,” he continued. “‘Cut off your parents and your mental health will be better.’”

Yet according to Blake, “Families are one of the most evidence-based buffers against mental illness.”

Third and finally, poor communication – specifically the use of buzzwords like “abuse,” “toxic,” “boundaries,” “narcissist,” and “gaslighting” – can contribute to familial estrangement.

In reference to this language, Geremy Keeton, senior director of counseling services at Focus on the Family and a licensed marriage and family therapist, said:

Terms like “abuse” and “toxic” are necessary, informative and useful when used objectively and accurately – and in the rightly defined ways. Yet the terms and concepts are too powerful to be misapplied. They can be useful or detrimental.

When these words arise, Dr. Blake advises:

I tell parents to pause before they really react … and then say back, “Okay, you’ve used the word toxic. Can you describe the behavior or behaviors that you consider to be toxic?” Then you’re dealing with facts and events, rather than who’s a better person or who’s the worst person.

Regarding the heartbreaking, rapidly growing problem of family estrangement, Keeton also commented:

Our culture on the whole seems to be swinging a certain way right now. Families who need help and reconciliation are frozen in stalemates or simply shut down at times. Family is being treated as disposable by some. I say this while fully acknowledging the need for distance, boundaries and greater safety in many instances too.

Discernment, not reaction, is needed. Wisdom, seeking true wisdom, is key.

If you’re struggling with family estrangement and need a listening ear, Focus on the Family offers a free, one-time counseling consultation with a licensed or pastoral counselor. To request a counseling consultation, call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) or fill out our Counseling Consultation Request Form.

Related Articles & Resources:

The Silent Epidemic of Parent-Child Estrangement

Family Estrangement: 6 Ways to Reconcile with Adult Children

Healing Parent and Adult Child Relationships

Distance In Relationship with Grown Child

The Gut-Wrenching Heartbreak of Parental Estrangement

Just Annoying, or Truly Unsafe? How to Navigate Get-Togethers With Difficult Family

Help For Abusive Relationships

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