The United States is breaking records for the greatest political divide in our nation’s history. You might assume we’re talking about Democrats and Republicans, or progressives and conservatives—but these divides aren’t the most concerning in our generation.
Do you want to know what is?
Males and females.
The gender gap in political ideology with Gen Z is wider than it has ever been in previous generations. As co-authors and siblings, we have a theory for why that is and how the church might become a light amid this chaos.
Why Men and Women Are Separating
The average Gen-Z female is now 30 percentage points more liberal than the average Gen-Z male. Moreover, males are 13 percentage points more likely than females to say religion is “very important” in their lives. Men and women are finding their way to separate silos, and increasingly, we’re unwilling to be with one another at all.
How wonderful that we can hop on our screens and escape!
That’s exactly the point. This divide isn’t primarily caused by feminism. It’s not rooted in “toxic masculinity.” Rather, the natural physiological and psychological differences between men and women are being amplified by one dominant force: the digital realm.
The natural physiological and psychological differences between men and women are being amplified by one dominant force: the digital realm.
It’s easy to see why: Marriage has stopped being an expected goal for adults. Dating apps remove personal interaction. Pornography is free and widespread. AI companions affirm us. Why endure discomfort? Why encounter the other at all when a screen will reflect exactly what you want?
Gen Z males may be the first generation of men in history to feel as though their physical strength is irrelevant in everyday life. Yet the rising use of testosterone and other supplements suggests the image of strength still matters. Even if our sedentary culture dulls distinctions in physical differences, they emerge powerfully online. Gen Z men are statistically far more likely to gravitate toward informational and confrontational platforms like X, YouTube, or long-form podcasts in the “manosphere.” In contrast, women often prefer to gather around the aesthetic, relational, and emotional messaging on Instagram, TikTok, or Pinterest.
Words build worlds. Sadly, young men and women are living in different ones.
Yet for all their virtual promises, our six-inch screens ultimately serve to make us more alone.
When the Pendulum Swings
The explosion of the #MeToo movement revealed male abuses of power in ways the world had never collectively witnessed. In a redemptive use of technology, a generation of women bonded together, exposing horrible crimes committed against them. But as so often happens in the age of social media, rhetoric continued to escalate. Masculinity itself became problematic. Instead of calling men to rise up as righteous, holy, and sexually pure, some squashed masculinity wholesale, and our generation spent formative years being taught that to be biologically male is to be “toxic.”
Yet even now, we can feel the polarized pendulum swing back. Young men, exhausted by this honor/shame culture, increasingly cast “progressive” women and feminists as villains. They’re encouraged by a wave of reactionary, sexist influencers.
These voices are the extremes. The more likely (and subtly dangerous) reality for most of our generation is that instead of getting angry at the other sex, we ignore them altogether. But when either side ignores the other, the worst possible outcome follows: We move away from each other. We forget that the fall of one sex is the fall of both.
We forget that the fall of one sex is the fall of both.
Male domination of women and female denigration of men both lead to societal decay. Many are beginning to recognize that, beyond AI or geopolitics, one of the greatest threats to Western civilization is the breakdown of male-female unity. When we abandon God’s design for diverse, embodied, complementary lives, we don’t become free—we become cursed (Gal. 5:13). So men and women hide in their screens, lonelier than ever.
First Political Divide and Loneliness
God’s solution to the problem of loneliness wasn’t an idea, cause, or movement—it was a person (Gen. 2:18). Her name was Eve. Together, male and female were made in the image of God.
Sin soon fractured the relationship between man and woman (3:16), creating the first political divide: tension between the sexes that has endured ever since. Competition with the other always ends in isolation. It’s no coincidence that at the height of male-female dysfunction, we’re in a loneliness epidemic.
John Milton captures this dysfunction vividly in Paradise Lost, describing the “fruitless hours” Adam and Eve spend deflecting blame, searching for external causes, and refusing responsibility for their brokenness.
Thousands of years later, not much has changed, but this is precisely where the church can step in.
Family of Differences—Not Divides
This issue has always hit close to home for us (literally). Our parents are opposites in every way. Mom is dramatic; Dad is calm. She’s loud; he’s quiet. She processes verbally; he internally. She’s unmistakably feminine; he’s classically masculine.
Once, during a massive argument, Mom (true to form) locked herself in the bedroom, sobbing. Dad couldn’t unlock the door. So he walked around the house, spotted an open window, snagged a two-story ladder, climbed into the bedroom, and went to her as we watched from the driveway below.
Instead of letting this conflict lead to separation, he fought for unity. All while his six kids watched on.
Their opposite natures often led to arguments, but they taught us that conflict isn’t always the enemy. Conflict can drive us toward deeper understanding, appreciation, and friendship when we work through it. Isolation is the enemy.
It would’ve been so easy for Dad to roll his eyes and hop on his phone, for Mom to drown her sorrows in Hallmark movies, and for us kids to be tossed in a room with some screens, well out of the way. Instead, as a family we watched (and haven’t forgotten) the coming together of two opposite people in all their biological and emotional differences.
True Family of Differences
The greatest political divide, both now and for all human history, is the male-female divide.
Therefore, friendship between men and women—which crescendos in marriage—is a symbol of the cosmic healing of the first wound of the whole world. The body of Christ, the church, was always meant to be the family where these wounds truly heal. In Christ, even our differences draw us to others. Somehow, in God’s economy, opposites attract.
The church cannot neglect facilitating male-female friendships—especially covenant marriages. Male-female unity helps us believe in God. It gives us reference for a Person utterly other who somehow always wants us and lovingly partners with us to bring life. It helps us see that male and female differences can exist into unity. Male-female friendships teach us to see one another as essential—a mysterious and different type of person, but not a threat.
So maybe one of the best ways to address politics in our churches is to address the male-female divide. Gen Z and Gen Alpha need help interacting with the opposite sex. The church can be the place where that help is found. Sundays, weekday events, camps, retreats—these increasingly rare spaces of interpersonal encounter can become the best ground for emphasizing both male-female distinctiveness and also male-female unity.
Maybe one of the best ways to address politics in our churches is to address the male-female divide.
Churches should consider banning digital distractions and facilitating environments where men and women are confronted with the otherness of the opposite sex. This could look like casual coed hangouts, swing dancing (where there’s no option but to partner up with the opposite sex), worship songs with male and female parts, or games that intentionally make males and females work together.
But the load isn’t just on church leadership; it’s on us, the members. Despite feeling vulnerable without screens, Christians are charged to resist the curse, to allow ourselves to be drawn out of hiding and toward otherness—toward unity (1 Cor. 12:12–27).
After all, how will the world see Christ if not by our love for one another (John 13:35)?
The Gospel Coalition