I love to cook.
Well, perhaps it’s more truthful to say that I love to eat, therefore I’ve learned to cook. When I first began, I followed recipes precisely. I didn’t deviate because I had no idea what I was doing.
Over time, I realized that some types of recipes need to be followed precisely, while there’s a lot of wiggle room in others. If I’m baking a cake, accuracy matters. Without the correct combination of flour, butter, and sugar, I’m going to have a cake failure on my hands. However, if I’m creating a pasta sauce, I can add a few extra garlic cloves, sprinkle in some red pepper flakes, and use sausage instead of ground beef because it makes the sauce taste so much better (well, to me at least).
When it comes to social media, we’d probably like for someone to offer up a precise recipe to follow—here’s how much time to spend on each platform and a list of people to follow. It would also tell us what types of posts to share and let us know which posts to like.
No Recipe for Social Media
Unfortunately, there’s no recipe for social media. Each person has different reasons for being online and different reactions to what she encounters. An online article that sends one person into a fit of rage might be hardly noticed by someone else. A beautiful living room may invoke feelings of jealousy in one woman’s heart, while another woman might feel joy and inspiration at the same picture.
As we engage on social media, we desperately need discernment.
As we engage on social media, we desperately need discernment.
I like to define discernment as wisdom making a choice. Some women may choose to not use social media at all. Some women may take breaks. Some women may put limits on their phones to monitor their usage. We need a combination of knowledge, wisdom, and experience to grow in our ability to choose what’s best for our own lives, while not expecting everyone else to come to the same conclusions.
If we don’t take the time to think wisely about our boundaries, we can be sure that social media will continually clamor for our time and attention. As we do, here are a few things to consider.
Positives
Proverbs 9 is a fascinating image of two very different women: wisdom and folly. Lady Wisdom sends out her young women to the highest places in the town with an invitation, “Come . . . leave your simple ways, and live, and walk in the way of insight” (Prov. 9:5–6).
Wisdom is not hidden. She’s crying out for you to listen, with the hope that you will live! She’s there on social media, inviting you to walk in the way of insight. In the midst of the social media marketplace, look for women of wisdom. They love Jesus. They share truth from his Word. They post beneficial articles and talks. They speak with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on their tongues. Some days, a verse or a quote someone shares online may be just the encouragement you need.
Social media can also help us connect with local friends. I love seeing posts about graduations, vacations, new babies, and recent events. What I read online often helps me to ask better questions of my friends when we’re in person. Many churches use private Facebook groups as an opportunity to connect women. It’s been an immensely helpful way for me to put a new face with a name. I’ve seen these groups used as an opportunity to share about upcoming events, ask advice (from parenting resources to dentist recommendations), and connect with one another during the week. It doesn’t replace the benefits of being together in person, but it can enhance it.
Take a moment to consider: Whom do you follow on social media who regularly encourages your faith? How has social media given you the opportunity to connect with friends? In what ways does social media allow you to connect with your church?
Pitfalls
We can be thankful for the presence of Lady Wisdom on social media while being cautiously aware that Folly is also crying out for our attention. As we seek to discern what’s best, it’s helpful to consider three social media pitfalls: time, thoughts, and temptations.
Time is a limited resource. Once it’s lost, it never returns. Unfortunately, social media dulls us to the world around us. We may sign on to quickly check one notification and end up still staring at our phone 30 minutes later. Discernment helps us wisely choose how to spend our time because we recognize that small moments over time accumulate into large portions of our lives.
Discernment helps us wisely choose how to spend our time because we recognize that small moments over time accumulate into large portions of our lives.
What we spend our time looking at greatly affects what we’re thinking about. Everyone knows what it’s like to have negative thoughts while online. One woman might be anxious and worried after reading a friend’s update on her sick family member. A different woman may feel lonely after seeing a group photo of a social gathering posted online. Another woman might doubt the validity of God’s Word on a particular subject because a popular influencer has a new view and everyone seems to agree.
What we see on social media affects how we think. It also affects how we view others. It’s important for each of us to consider—in what ways am I negatively affected by social media? Who invites me toward folly? So often, our thoughts lead us to temptation. Spending time on social media can tempt us toward discontentment, unkind judgments, bitterness, or envy of someone’s possessions or accomplishments.
As you think about your own areas of temptation, consider how social media influences your struggle. Discernment is not avoidance of the world; it’s the ability to go into the world and embrace the good while avoiding the bad.
The Gospel Coalition