Hope for Those Struggling with Adulting – Greg Phelan

I’m struggling to transition between university and adult life—things like handling finances and finding energy to do anything after work.

You’re not alone. While I don’t know the particular struggles you face, there are some difficulties common to recent grads. The rhythms and routines of life outside of college are distinctly different from those in university. That can create new challenges but also new opportunities.

Fortunately, there are practical steps you can take to establish healthy, God-honoring habits with your time, money, and relationships.

Time

I’m not surprised you don’t have the energy to do anything after work. Full-time working life can be exhausting and require the majority of one’s time, energy, and even emotions.

It runs on a different rhythm than you had as a full-time student. In college, you lived in 12-to-13-week intervals, and there was always an obvious “next step.” The academic schedule is built on a routine of change. There’s a well-defined time frame to get settled, ramp up, hit a crescendo, wind down, and then get some rest before you do it again. Internships are no different.

The rest of life isn’t like that. After graduation, you ramp up into working—and you keep working. There aren’t obvious crescendos in the same way. Even if your job has a cyclical rhythm to it, the tasks are largely the same as last time. You rarely look forward to wrapping everything up with a bow and moving on. And while you’ll likely change jobs at some point, you don’t know when. It may be years, or even decades, from now.

Without natural seasons built into your year, it’s wise to pay careful attention to the practices and habits that form your daily and weekly routines.

Without natural seasons built into your year, it’s wise to pay careful attention to the practices and habits that form your daily and weekly routines.

First, since you don’t have lots of energy left after work, be intentional about how you structure your free time. Make being part of a small group nonnegotiable. Find a way to volunteer or serve. Pick key moments in your week to anchor yourself in Christian community.

Second, implement a regular practice of rest. Taking a Sabbath may feel like you have less time in your week—the very thing you’re lacking! But God knows we need rest for physical, emotional, and spiritual reasons. The practice of Sabbath will not only provide you with a needed break in your weekly routine and allow you to focus on worship, but it will also begin to reset how you experience your work throughout the week.

One reason God commanded the Israelites to rest was to help them remember they were no longer slaves, no longer defined by their work (Deut. 5:12–15). A weekly Sabbath helped them—and helps us—to physically embody that reality. Resting thrusts us deeper into God’s story of who we are.

Money

Taking a Sabbath is a way to offer God the limited resource of your time. My financial advice is similar—tithe. Make giving a commitment and a value.

Jesus says that where our treasure is, that’s where our heart will be (Matt. 6:21). What we do with our money, time, and emotions directs our hearts. When we give away what’s scarce, we value where it goes. Give to your church and you’ll want to see it flourish. Give to missions and you’ll want to see the gospel advance. Give to charities and you’ll want to see the poor empowered. Rather than waiting for the motivation to give, give and you’ll feel motivated.

We serve a generous God. Malachi records this promise: “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And hereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need” (Mal. 3:10).

I’ve found this to be true not just with money but also with time. When I give to the Lord, he returns it in abundance.

Community

Perhaps the best advice I can give you is to live in Christian community after college. Not only can this save money, but living with people who love Jesus is a great help in building life-giving routines into your daily life.

Living with people who love Jesus is a great help in building life-giving routines into your daily life.

Without a doubt, the best decision I made right after college was to move into a small apartment with a few other Christian men. Living with believers meant I had friends to pray with regularly and to hold me accountable. They knew what I was going through and could share what they were going through. In different ways, we all struggled with finances and having the energy to fulfill our responsibilities, but we navigated those struggles together.

Marks of an Adult

Ultimately, succeeding as an adult isn’t about finding enough money and time to make it through. It’s about discovering your purpose in life—to glorify God and enjoy him forever—and then responding.

It’s also about serving those around you with your money, time, and energy. Having other people somehow depend on you, whether that’s family or community, is perhaps the singular marker of what it means to be an adult. That may sound scary right now. But one of the greatest joys of adulthood is responsibility for others. It helps us remember we’re not our own but belong to Christ. Ultimately, there’s no greater comfort, in life and death.

As you give away your time and energy, your appreciation for what Christ has done for you will cultivate a desire to live for others. And slowly, with helpful habits, you’ll figure out how to faithfully follow Jesus as an adult.

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