Bedtime can be hard with toddlers. Recently, this struggle led my husband and me down an AI rabbit hole. It was late, we were exhausted, and we thought, Why not? Let’s see what AI has to say about this.
After typing the details into a chatbot, we were rewarded with affirmation of our parenting style, recognition of how hard parenting is, and a few ideas about what might make bedtime work better in the future. It included scripts we could use, routines we could tweak, and a recommendation to take time for ourselves (hard when your preschooler won’t sleep). The ideas weren’t half bad, to be honest.
But they were only half good. As the weeks progressed, our situation didn’t change much. So we approached a couple in our local church who are a little ahead on this parenting journey and asked them to share a meal with us. Over dinner, we received human honesty about the struggles we’re facing.
We got to look in the eyes of saints who’ve walked this road before us. We felt them pass along the comfort they’ve received from the Lord. They gave us custom ideas for our real child who’s dear to them too. Since then, they’ve prayed for us. They’re bringing our names before the throne of God and checking in on us in real time to see how it’s going.
Those are things AI technology can never do. When we ask technology to make decisions for us, to render judgment in sensitive areas, or to give hands-on help, it’s unable to meet the need. AI reproduces information, but it can’t generate wisdom. For wisdom, we need the Word and the Spirit-empowered church—real, flesh-and-blood, imperfect, time-bound people.
Before You Ask AI
It’s tempting to seek parenting advice from AI because it is immediately available, doesn’t come with emotional baggage, and makes us feel good. Sometimes we don’t want to wait for answers, and since people can only be in one place at a time, we turn to technology.
AI reproduces information, but it can’t generate wisdom.
Technology never hurts our feelings, exposes our idols, or makes us feel misunderstood. It won’t leave if our problems are too big. It isn’t inconvenienced by our pain. We aren’t keeping it from some other task we think is more important.
But for all its seeming benefits, AI has significant limitations when we’re seeking wisdom for parenting.
AI Can’t Give True Wisdom
Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord (Prov. 9:10). It starts with knees bowed before the God of heaven and earth in joyful submission. AI has no knees. It has no soul capable of bowing in fear before the Lord. AI can share information, but because it’s man-made technology, it can never be “filled with the knowledge of [God’s] will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Col. 1:9) the way God’s people can.
The believing parents with whom we rub shoulders in our local churches are indwelled by the Holy Spirit, and he can work through their counsel to give us wisdom.
AI Can’t Give Custom Counsel
Chatbots are excellent at taking a vast amount of information and synthesizing it to answer questions. What they’re unable to do is look into your eyes, hear your specific concerns and struggles, meet your children, pray with you and for you, and then offer counsel based on the specific situation you’re walking through.
God’s people do this all the time. It’s the nature of our connection with one another, and it’s distinctly human.
AI Can’t Offer God’s Comfort
Chatbots have never been comforted by the Lord. They’ve never suffered or been joyful. They don’t know what it means to weep in exhaustion after a sleepless night. They’re not alive.
Because of this, they’re fundamentally unable to offer comfort they’ve received from the Lord (2 Cor. 1:4). The Lord comforts his people through his people. If we run to a chatbot for help, we lose the beauty of the Lord’s people caring for one another.
Ask God
Chatbots possess a lot of information gleaned from human sources all over the internet. They draw conclusions from that information and can sometimes generate helpful ideas. For some tasks and topics, AI can be put to good use.
But we need to be clear about AI’s limitations before we rely on it for parenting help. Chatbots cannot generate wisdom from the Lord, passed through the lives and hearts of image-bearers and directly applied to our lives.
The Lord comforts his people through his people.
James 1:5 makes it clear what we should do when we need wisdom: Ask God.
Throughout history, God’s people haven’t lacked wisdom without artificial intelligence available to them. They’ve had the Lord’s Spirit, his Word, and his people. God gave wisdom generously to them, and he’ll give it generously to us. As Hebrews 10 reminds us: We can walk by faith, seeking wisdom from God, knowing that he who promised is faithful.
The Gospel Coalition