Last year, a study found that the percentage of regular churchgoers identifying as pro-life plummeted from 63 percent (in 2023) to 43 percent (in 2025).
But wait, it gets worse.
That matches the percentage of pro-life people in the general population, which means there’s no longer any significant correlation between regular church attendance and the likelihood of being pro-life.
But wait, it gets even worse.
The same study found that about 20 percent of regular churchgoers had “paid for, encouraged, or chosen to have an abortion.”
And that means “there was no significant correlation between being born again, how often one attends church, or how frequently one reads the Bible and the likelihood of having had an abortion,” the study authors wrote.
Whatever strategy Christian churches and families are using to disciple young people in this area, it isn’t working.
Herbie and Ashley Newell with their children: Caleb, Adelynn, and Emily / Courtesy of Herbie Newell
Herbie Newell knows this problem better than most. He’s the president and executive director of Lifeline Children’s Services, which offers counseling for unplanned pregnancies, support for at-risk families, and adoption services.
“Parents must intentionally teach a gospel sexual ethic and gospel family ethic,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be talking points from a pro-life rally or the March for Life. It can just be, like Deuteronomy 6:7 tells us, teaching as we go.”
Newell has done this himself.
“My wife and I never wanted to take for granted that just because our kids were hanging around pro-life ministry, they were going to see and understand the biblical ethics of pro-life ministry and human sexuality,” he said.
The Gospel Coalition asked Newell for his best tips on teaching kids how to value life, on how to resist cultural support for abortion, on handling teen romances, and on setting a good example for your kids, whether you’re married or not.
It’s heartbreaking and confusing that in 2025, less than half of churchgoers called themselves pro-life. How can we raise our kids to clearly value life?
This can start early. On birthdays, when your children are young, look back at pictures of Mom when she was pregnant with them. Look at their birth pictures, in the hospital or coming home. Talk about how excited you were to find out you were pregnant, to hear their heartbeat, and to feel them kicking in the womb. Talk about how they were fearfully and wonderfully made. Reinforce that life is sacred and precious.
As they get older, talk about gender. Who in your family is a boy? Who is a girl? Celebrate the roles of each person in your family—Dad, Mom, and siblings. Talk about how God created us to live together, to be in community with each other and with him.
When it’s age-appropriate, talk with them about sex. Don’t leave this to their fifth-grade science class or social media. I remember how awkward it was for me to do this, but talking about it meant those topics were not taboo anymore. It became easier for my kids to ask their questions.
As you explain the physical act, talk about God’s plan for that—why it’s good, perfect, complementary. Talk about how marriage is a picture of Christ and the church.
This is great. But we know we aren’t the only influences in our children’s lives, and some cultural voices can be loud. What do we do when our kids encounter other views on sexuality and family?
We want our kids to rub shoulders with people who aren’t like them—culturally, ethnically, socioeconomically, religiously. When we put them in places where they start to see something different, then we can be the ones to answer their questions, and we can reinforce their Christian worldview.
Before our kids were born, my wife was the director of a crisis pregnancy center. I have been the director of an adoption and foster care ministry for the last two decades. Our kids would ask questions like, “Where’s so-and-so’s dad?” or “How did she get pregnant when she’s not married?”
While not everyone works daily in pro-life ministry, similar questions might come up as your children encounter situations at school or even as they watch TV or movies.
In fact, media is so influential that when our kids are watching or listening to something, we should be close enough that we can hear what’s contrary to a biblical ethic or worldview.
And then we have to address it. When your kids ask questions about missing fathers or two moms, don’t shy away from answering—those are opportunities for discipleship. You can let them know what’s going on honestly (and age-appropriately), and then explain why we believe what we believe.
When your kids ask questions about missing fathers or two moms, don’t shy away from answering—those are opportunities for discipleship.
It’s also important to ask them questions: What did you enjoy about that show? What didn’t you enjoy? Did you notice the dad wasn’t providing for his family? Did you notice the couple wasn’t married? What did you think about that? How would you want to do that differently? What do you think is God’s design?
You don’t have to be formal—just talk as you go. “Hey, that’s interesting. That’s not how God would want it. I wish they wouldn’t have made those choices.”
Now that my kids are older, they’ll make comments when we watch something: “I wish he didn’t have to be such a womanizer.” “I wish that couple had been faithful to one another.” “Why do shows seem to normalize alternative lifestyles?”
They’re pointing out things that are contrary to God’s will. As parents, we can help them digest the differences between what they’re seeing and what’s true and orderly—and why.
That’s good advice. What about disordered sexuality that comes into our homes through the internet? Covenant Eyes tells us 75 percent of Christian men and 40 percent of Christian women consume pornography regularly. We also know the average age a child views pornography is 12.
There are many ways to fence your internet beyond pornography-blocking software. You can require a password (that a parent keeps) every time your child wants to access the internet. You can block your child from clearing his history. Covenant Eyes will take discreet screenshots from a device and alert an accountability partner. You can have your child’s time on screen and internet searches sent to you regularly.
These are all helpful. But underneath the logistics, consuming pornography is a heart issue. My wife and I talked with our teen son about the objectification of women—remember those pictures or videos are of someone’s daughter, maybe someone’s mom. Certainly they’re of someone made in the image of God. Matthew 5:28 says if you look at a woman lustfully, you’ve already committed adultery with her in your heart.
Everyone needs accountability, no matter what gender or how old you are. I always tell my kids, “Accountability is the friend of integrity.”
And I don’t mean telling someone about your sin so that person doesn’t feel so bad about his or her own sin. I mean friends who will hate sin with you and who will love you enough to help you run from it.
I love that. And of course, accountability also comes into play when your child begins to have relationships with significant others. How did you handle that?
When our children were younger, we’d say, “If it’s in the Lord’s will, you may get married someday. What are some characteristics you’d want in your spouse?”
One time my son said, “Well, I would want my wife to be just like Mom.” That was a good moment for my wife.
We’re not putting that future spouse on a pedestal, or saying that if he or she doesn’t meet some definition of perfection that you shouldn’t marry that person. But we are starting to set a standard.
As they got older, we also talked about displays of affection, about how that’s a slippery slope. We explained that sex is like a fire. It keeps you very warm if it’s in the fireplace. But if it gets outside of the bounds of where it’s supposed to be, it can burn everything down.
As my children have begun dating, I have encouraged them to have at least two other godly men or women, besides my wife and me, who will ask them about their relationships—not just the physical aspects but the emotional too. I have really seen them take this counsel to heart, and it is working in their lives.
You’re doing such a great job of teaching your kids. Do you think the example you’re setting in your home—of a healthy Christian marriage—is an even more effective witness?
I think even broken homes can be a witness.
Single moms and dads can teach God’s truth, even in the middle of situations that aren’t ideal. I know of single moms who teach God’s Word around the kitchen table while praying over their children. They encourage their children to have a relationship with their fathers, even when it is difficult.
I’ve seen single parents instill in their children a desire for a godly spouse who will love them and stick with them through hard things. Instead of scaring their children away from marriage, they hold up God’s ideal, while also finding godly and healthy examples of marriage for their children to witness.
Even in hard situations, you can be there for one another. You can even laugh through hard things, because you know where true joy is found.
One essential resource for that is the local church. At Lifeline, we equip churches to have parenting classes or mentoring programs for single moms, especially if they’ve gone through an unplanned pregnancy or lost their kids to foster care. The true help they need, after a relationship with Jesus, is the community that comes from a church.
Truly, we can only have joy and grace in hard situations because of the gospel. But we still stumble. What would you say to parents who have failed, or whose children have failed, on this front?
Remember, we aren’t teaching our kids these truths from a legalistic perspective, but because we know they’re going to fall short. Our children will mess up because we all mess up. We fail to meet Christ’s standard, which is why we need the grace of Christ.
Single moms and dads can teach God’s truth, even in the middle of situations that aren’t ideal.
As parents, it’s good to remember we can’t do this without Christ—we too are going to fall short. This is why he came to redeem us and has called us according to his purpose.
If we don’t preach that there’s redemption and hope, even for a young man fighting pornography or a single mom raising her children, then the only answer is society’s answer—addiction and abortion.
But there is redemption. And because that’s true, all of our failing is a witness, pointing back to the glorious nature of the gospel of Christ Jesus.
The Gospel Coalition