Two years ago, I made my wife cry after I opened a gift she’d given me for my birthday. She didn’t know it was something I’d be less than thrilled to get, and my face couldn’t hide it. After a long hug and several apologies, I decided to try her gift. It turns out this gift is so useful that two years later I don’t go a day without using it.
What if we could give our children a gift they might not know they need or might not thank us for until years later? That was one of the questions we asked ourselves at Hope Academy as we came out of the COVID-19 pandemic and into an ever-deepening culture of disconnection.
Screen-Addicted Demographic
Hope Academy is a K–12 school in the challenged heart of Minneapolis. We exist to provide a God-centered, classical education to underresourced families in the city. Studies tell us that teenagers in metropolitan areas spend more time on their screens than those outside metro areas. Those same studies tell us high screen use is linked with anxiety and depression. We aren’t surprised—from the beginning, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18). He’s wired us to be in community.
So even before the pandemic, we made efforts to build thick community: serving together on mission trips, juniors and seniors leading through our house system, empowering our student leadership team to plan events for the rest of the student body, and going on class retreats.
Coming out of the pandemic, it became clear those weren’t enough.
Subtracting Phones
When we took the students on mission trips, we made them turn in their cell phones. Every time, a surprising number said how freeing it was not to have the distraction of their phones. We wanted to apply this strategy to the school day to see if the results would be similar. If we wanted our students to connect more with one another, we needed to make space and time for connecting.
As you can imagine, we heard all types of excuses. “What if there’s an emergency and I need to get ahold of my parents?” “It’s not that big of a deal if I’m just checking my phone between classes or at lunch.” If we were going to take this on, it’d be an uphill battle, but it was one we believed would be worth it in the end because we knew certain goals—such as community—are so great that they’re worth extreme action (see Matt. 5:29–30).
Adding Activities
If taking away cell phones was difficult, adding space and time for community was easy. When we designed our new high school building, we incorporated spaces that would encourage community, including common areas, ping-pong and foosball tables, and café booths, along with other conversation-facilitating furniture.
We adjusted our daily schedule to include a morning session where all students gather to pray, hear a devotion and announcements, and recognize birthdays.
Changes
Previously, when I’d walk through our hallways or into our cafeteria, nearly everyone was on their phones. Today, I see students having conversations, smiling, laughing, and even playing board and card games together. They’re delighting in each other and in the good community God has given them.
Lunchtime at Hope Academy / Courtesy of Nathan Ziegler
We’ve also seen more of our students involved and invested in school. This has included a significant increase in the number of students who applied to be on our student leadership team, participated in athletics, and joined small groups, including grief groups. In addition, we’ve seen an increased level of joy.
Takeaway
What might you subtract and add to create community in this age of disconnection? Maybe it looks like ensuring your family eats dinner at the table each night and without their phones. It could mean taking time to read as a family before bed each day or planning family game nights. At work, what would it look like for everyone to close their laptops for most of a meeting?
When the apostle James wrote that we should consider trials pure joy, he wasn’t talking about the pain of a teenager not being able to use his or her phone (or a parent limiting a child’s screen time). But it’s hard to do, and James did say trials test our faith, which develops perseverance so we “may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2–4, NIV).
If we know that taking intentional action toward connectedness may be unpopular and unappreciated in the moment but in the end a wonderful gift, would we still be willing to do it? For the sake of our children and their long-term flourishing, I hope we will.
The Gospel Coalition