When kids are young, we work hard to train their consciences, to teach them God’s commands and how to choose between right and wrong. But as kids get older, they must learn to navigate issues that aren’t black and white. They need wisdom to discern between good choices and those that are best.
One of the best ways to train a teenager in wisdom is to talk to him about what Martin Luther called “Christian freedom.” For us, “Christian freedom” brings to mind disputable matters like whether it’s appropriate for Christians to drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes—topics that are important but daunting to bring up with your child as he heads toward his adult years.
But while Luther did write about matters of conscience in On Christian Liberty, his treatise accomplished much more. Luther wrote to help believers find wisdom and true freedom by living in accordance with their Christian identity. The twofold path to freedom he described is biblical, and it’s worth teaching to Christian youth today.
Freedom from Proving and People-Pleasing
Suppose your teenage daughter feels peer pressure to get her hair highlighted. She doesn’t really want to do it, but all her friends are. So she thinks she’ll have to go along. Suppose another daughter wants to dye her hair pink, but a moralistic friend says, “You can’t wear your hair that way and be a Christian!” How would you counsel these girls before their salon trip?
Luther wrote to help believers find wisdom and true freedom by living in accordance with their Christian identity.
Luther said, “A Christian is a perfectly free lord of all, subject to none.” If you’ve been accepted by Christ, you don’t need to please people or conform to their cultural vision of what’s stylish or even of what’s Christian. Luther wrote,
No external thing has any influence in producing Christian righteousness or freedom. . . . It will not harm the soul if the body is clothed in secular dress, dwells in unconsecrated places, eats and drinks as others do, does not pray aloud, and neglects to do all the . . . things which hypocrites can do.
When he wrote about “secular dress,” Luther wasn’t addressing dyed hair or clothing styles but whether it was necessary for clergy to wear vestments during worship. Yet his principle still applies. Nothing done to the body determines the nature of one’s soul; if you belong to Christ, nothing can snatch you from his hand. If you’ve trusted Jesus, you have nothing to prove. It’s God’s justifying declaration over you that makes you who you are.
As I’ve written before, “What God says about you as his beloved child is more important than what anyone else says.” That’s the first principle I’d teach my daughters, but I wouldn’t stop there. Luther didn’t either.
Freedom for Service and Love
While we’re teaching our teens to resist people-pleasing, we must also teach them to resist selfish independence. Luther said it this way: “A Christian is a perfectly dutiful servant of all, subject to all.” One might think that if faith makes us perfectly free—if it alone is sufficient unto righteousness—then we can simply do whatever we want. Luther wrote,
[Some ask], why then are good works commanded? We will take our ease and do no works and be content with faith. I answer: not so, you wicked men, not so.
Citing Romans 14:7–8, Luther told his readers they must fight against sin in the body lest the old man hinder the renewed soul: “A man does not live for himself alone in the mortal body to work for it alone but he lives only for others and not for himself. To this end he brings his body into subjection that he may more sincerely and freely serve others.”
What does serving others mean for the girls’ decisions about dyeing their hair? The Bible says the way we dress and adorn our bodies affects other people (1 Tim. 2:9). So before deciding, teens should think through how their choices will influence others: Am I making this change because I’m greedy for attention? Is my new style associated with celebrities or cultural movements that reject biblical norms? If so, will my peers (or younger kids who look up to me) be tempted to think I’m affirming that rebellion? Is my choice only about me, or will it serve and build up others?
Freedom Under Authority
One way teens love and serve is by submitting to their parents’ authority. An adult Christian has the freedom to decide whether or not he can see an R-rated movie. For a teen, it depends on Mom and Dad. At the end of the day, a young girl’s parents may say, “No pink hair. No highlights.” But as parents, even if we make that call, talking with our teens about the reasons behind our decision is important; that’s what prepares them to reason through decisions on their own when they enter adulthood.
As we talk to them, we should also teach our teens that Christian freedom isn’t rigid. A mature Christian won’t make the same choice in every instance. Paul, for instance, circumcised Timothy so as not to offend Jews who hadn’t yet come to faith (Acts 16:3), but when Judaizers insisted circumcision was necessary for righteousness, he didn’t allow Titus to be circumcised (Gal. 2:3). A Christian has situational flexibility when determining how to apply God’s unchanging law.
Freedom to Align with Reality
In all this, it’s important to help teens understand that real freedom means living with the grain of reality. As Tim Keller once recounted: A little boy received a tank of goldfish. Having seen his friends playing with their pets, he happily headed to his bedroom to enjoy his. Later, when his mom asked how he liked his new fish, he said, “Well, Mom, at first they played really well, but now they’re just laying still on the rug.”
It’s important to help teens understand that real freedom means living with the grain of reality.
Keller asked, “Why didn’t the goldfish enjoy their freedom when they got out of the narrow confines of the aquarium?” The fish lost their freedom because by removing them from the water, the boy violated their nature.
The same principle holds true for Christian freedom. Just as fish are made for water, a Christian is made for confidence in Christ and for unselfish love of neighbor. If teens search for freedom in people-pleasing or selfish independence, they’ll be enslaved. But if we teach them to live as God has made them, aligned with their Christian identity as “perfectly free lords” and “perfectly dutiful servants,” they’ll be wise and truly free.
The Gospel Coalition