“I feel like the air-traffic-control tower at O’Hare Airport,” said the pastor, referring to Chicago’s infamously busy airport. I had just popped into his office to ask a logistical question. Within a few minutes, I watched several others do the same. “Lots of planes taking off and landing!” he remarked.
That’s a decent picture of good leadership: Air-traffic controllers have authority, but they use their authority to enable others to fly.
Or here’s a more earthy illustration I heard years ago from a friend in Christian ministry: “I feel like a fat sow with a bunch of little piglets. Everyone’s sucking me dry.”
I was a young man when I heard this remark. I couldn’t sympathize at the time (probably because I was one of the piglets). Now I have kids in high school and college, and I’ve served for years as a church elder, and I help to lead a Christian ministry — I’m very sympathetic. Sometimes I feel as if I exist entirely to serve the needs of everyone around me. “Jonathan,” my wife remarked with a wry smile and a chuckle, “all of us just need you! ‘Me, me, me,’ we all say!”
More than once, I’ve reflected on the fact that leadership isn’t nearly as glamorous as people think. You pour yourself out, pour yourself out, pour yourself out. You make yourself vulnerable to anxiety, blame, and worry. The pressures and stresses land on you. The toughest questions come to you. You bear the blame when things go wrong. It’s easy to spend a day, week, or month putting out fires started by others. You find yourself required to serve continually — whether you want to or not.
Servant Leader?
Speaking of serving, let’s think about that overused phrase “servant leader.” It’s both helpful and not. It’s not helpful because it doesn’t communicate what a leader is and can turn leaders into pushovers — people who don’t lead but only give in to what others want. Besides, servants should serve too, so what’s the difference between a “servant leader” and a “servant servant”? Well, leaders lead. They make decisions and set agendas. They exercise authority. They say “Do this,” and people do it.
Think of the Roman centurion who said to Jesus, “I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it” (Matthew 8:9). The centurion was a leader.
But the phrase “servant leader” is also helpful because it reveals that leaders should lead with the right purpose and the right posture. Their purpose is the good and growth of others. Their posture is the humility that comes with faith and fearing the Lord.
Submissive Posture
Consider, first, the right posture. What is it? A good leader, like the Roman centurion, knows that he is “under authority.” That means a good leader has — listen to this! — a submissive posture. By “submissive posture,” I mean such an individual is quick to listen, quick to seek the counsel of others, uninterested in personal glory, uninterested in being the loudest voice in the room, willing to be corrected, quick to admit mistakes, quick to praise others, quick to give opportunities to others, quick to delegate, and generally cognizant of being “under authority,” as the Roman centurion said to Jesus.
The centurion acknowledged Jesus’s authority and put himself under it. How did Jesus respond? By declaring that the centurion had great faith (Matthew 8:10). The posture of humility starts with the posture of submission, which is the posture of faith. It is the posture of fearing God (2 Samuel 23:3). A man who fears God is less likely to abuse his subjects when he assumes leadership.
No leader transcends accountability, and a good leader knows it. To be in authority, you must be under authority. So it was with the incarnate Son, who said only what the Father told him to say and did only what the Father told him to do.
This is why the elders of my church will never nominate a man to be an elder who doesn’t know how to submit to the other elders. This is also why the headline stories about fallen pastors often follow years of that pastor refusing to submit to his fellow elders or his congregation.
Single women, are you looking for a man worth marrying? Look for a man who knows how to lead, yes, but you’ll figure out if a man can lead well if he also knows how to submit to the older men in his life, to honor his mother and grandmothers (2 Timothy 1:5), and to happily obey the people God has placed over him. You’ll be safest and strongest submitting to a man who knows how to submit to others, because that man will best know how to lead you.
Life-Giving Purpose
Now, what about the purpose of leadership? The purpose is to serve others, sure, but let me make that a little more specific: The purpose is to create (or author) life in others. The word author-ity connotes this idea. Authority authors. So God did in creating us, giving us everything we needed to thrive and succeed in the mission he called us to. And so we, in our derivative ways, do for others. Think of it this way: Good leaders work to create, engender, empower, grow, or strengthen life. They equip and strengthen others to be abundantly fruitful.
This purpose makes me want to say one more thing about posture. The posture of good leadership is not just humble or submissive; it’s generous. How generous is God! He could “lead” the universe far better on his own. But like a father who asks a son to build a rocking chair with him, even though the result will be a little wobblier, so our Father asks us to reign with him. He means to share his rule and glory with us! Are you kidding me? What is man that you are mindful of him (Psalm 8:4)?
With that in mind, stop and think about the places God has given you leadership. Are you generous in those places? Your goal inside the organization is to strengthen and equip those under you. And your goal outside the organization is to champion and promote its mission. Pastors work to make members more holy. Fathers and mothers work to make their children wise. Husbands work to build up their wives in God’s word. Governments work to make a nation more just. And on and on.
I want to get to the end of my life and have my wife, daughters, church members, and ministry staff say about me, “I loved Jonathan’s leadership. It made me wiser, smarter, stronger, and more holy.” I want them to have experienced rich generosity.
What will the people under you say about your leadership? Will they feel like they swam in a river of generosity — that you gave and gave and gave?
Leading Intentionally
Recently, I’ve started a practice that helps me lead intentionally: I list the different constituencies I serve, and then I ask myself on a weekly basis what I’m doing to serve each. At church, I have two constituencies: fellow elders and members. At home, I have three: wife, children, and parents. At work, I have nine: staff, board, donors, and so on.
Next to each, I list a time value, like “daily” or “weekly” or “monthly.” This reminds me how often I should initiate activity with that particular constituency. I also have a one-sentence goal for each. My goal for my staff, for instance, is “to empower each to grow in their skills, to love and own our mission, to do excellent work.” This is a daily goal. For donors, I have a biannual goal: “to inform, inspire, and solicit prayer.”
Thinking in terms of constituencies helps me adopt the right posture and aim at the right purposes as I lead.
Drained and Thankful
Is all of this exhausting? Does it mean we pour ourselves out continually? Yes, and on some days, honestly, I feel like that sow. I feel drained. When your third child comes to you at 10:00pm asking for homework help, after two others already asked for help, after your wife had a list of logistical items she needed answers to immediately after dinner, after a church member asked for counsel over the phone for his depression, after the whole day was spent addressing the questions of staff members and concerns of board members, your tank is empty. That third kid walks into your room as you’re taking off your socks. “Dad, can you help me with this essay?” In your head, you shout, “Come on — really? I’m spent!”
Yet then you breathe in and then out. You look at her. You make yourself smile. You say, “Yes, sweetheart. How can I help?”
Then, a few minutes later, she leaves the room, and you finally lie back on your pillow. And what fills your heart in that moment? Thanksgiving and joy. Zero regret. “Thank you, Lord. I completely used up today for you. Spent it all. Not a cent left. All for you. And how good it was. Let me get to the end of tomorrow just the same. And every day after that. All the way to the end.”
Isn’t that what Christ did for us? And how beautiful is that?
Desiring God