How do you feel about the word father?
Growing up, I felt the word like a thorn in my flesh. A frequent reminder of what I didn’t have. A gateway term into descending valleys of discouragement, insecurity, and envy. Father: whenever I heard the word, it mercilessly brought back to my mind what I was trying to forget. I was fatherless.
Perhaps your story is similar. Perhaps your father, like mine, left you and your family when you were young. Or maybe your father, unlike mine, was often home but never really present for you. Or perhaps your father had every intention of being a good father but was prevented by disease, disaster, or death.
Regardless of the reason, many today know themselves as fatherless. You might count yourself among their number. But have you also come to know yourself in light of what God, the Father, says to his fatherless people?
He Will Be Yours
Father figures are a great gift from God. I had a few growing up; perhaps you did as well. Though some of them were truly fatherly, none was ever truly my father. At the end of the day, they returned to their own home and I to mine, only to find my temporary escape from fatherlessness evaporating once again. Can the fatherless ever truly find a father of their own? King David, writing Psalm 68, answers in the affirmative:
Father of the fatherless . . . is God in his holy habitation. (Psalm 68:5)
What a breathtaking reality! God is not merely a father figure to the fatherless. Nor simply father-like to the fatherless. He is not a part-time, second-string, when-available father to the fatherless. He is a full-time, all-in, every-sense-of-the-term Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).
He disciplines as a father (Hebrews 12:7), listens as a father (Matthew 6:9), provides as a father (Matthew 7:11), and shows compassion as a father (Psalm 103:13), including to the fatherless. He is present and available to his children in ways that even the best of earthly fathers could never be.
He doesn’t slumber or sleep as you toss and turn in the night. Though even the best of earthly fathers must eventually rest, God the Father remains attentive — ever ready to hear the voice of his children (Psalm 17:6).
He doesn’t give bad advice or mislead in ways that even the best of fathers occasionally do. No, his counsel is always good. His instruction is always wise. He makes his children’s paths straight (Proverbs 3:6).
He does not weaken in strength or fail in energy as the strongest earthly fathers will. Through his strength, his children are made strong (Ephesians 6:10) — even and especially when his children see they have no strength of their own (2 Corinthians 12:10).
Your father’s absence from your life was real and significant. Yet far more real and significant is God’s presence in your life. He is not like a father, but actually Father. And not just any father, but your very own heavenly Father.
Do you long to know the love of a father? Do you yearn to have a father to call your own? In Christ, God is the Father to the fatherless, and the fatherless become the fathered in his embrace.
His Help Will Be Yours
We all are needy by nature. When fathers help meet those needs, calm and security flourish. When they don’t, fear and anxiety take hold, and questions begin to arise. Who will protect me when someone seeks my harm? Who will provide for me when my need is greatest? Who will be there to tell me who I am, what I’m worth, and where I should go when I no longer know?
If fatherless, then “dad” is scrapped from the list of viable answers. It seems only a matter of time before “no one” or “guess I’ll have to” fills in the gaps. Those voices will mask our neediness for a while. They’ll numb us for a time. But they cannot change reality — we are still needy till help arrives. But what kind of help arises for the fatherless? Psalm 10:14 explains: “You have been the helper of the fatherless.”
When the fatherless lift their eyes to the hills, where does their help come from? God, the Maker of heaven and earth (Psalm 121:1–2). It is he who executes justice for the fatherless (Deuteronomy 10:18). It is he who pleads their cause (Proverbs 23:10–11). It is he who upholds the fatherless and keeps them from ruin (Psalm 146:9). He guards them with his law; he hears them when they cry; he executes vengeance on their behalf so that injustice never has the final word over them (Exodus 22:22). The fatherless throughout the ages have brought their needs to him. They’ve called out to him expectantly for love, provision, and protection. He, their Father, has been their helper.
Do you feel needy? Do you feel weak? Do you seek a father who can strengthen you, help you, and uphold you (Isaiah 41:10)? One who will go with you and never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6)? One on whom you can cast your every fear and anxiety and know his genuine care (1 Peter 5:7)? Look no further. God has been the helper of the fatherless. If you put your hope in him, he will be your helper too.
His Home Will Be Yours
A house without a man of the house rarely feels like home. With one parent instead of two, a home can feel stuck in a state of flux, perpetually incomplete. It is, after all, a fraction of what God designed it to be, and often everyone inside knows it. Will the fatherless ever taste a true experience of home?
In Psalm 27, David revels in the glory of home — God’s home. Here is a place of supreme gladness: “I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy” (verse 6). Here unshakable security and safety can be found: “He will hide me in his shelter” (verse 5). Here is a dwelling in which to enjoy unfathomable intimacy with the Father: “To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple” (verse 4). It’s no wonder David longs to go there. But do you know who else is invited?
My father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. (Psalm 27:10)
Watch as the fatherless approach his doorway in droves. See the Father open wide his door to them. Take in his smile, his gladness, his joy as he leads all of them to their very own room — the one he’s made just for them. His home is now their home. His courts are now their courts. He, the God who made his dwelling among them, now makes their dwelling with him. They are home, finally home, experiencing every bit of glory that word conveys.
The once fatherless, now fathered. The once helpless, now helped. Those once kneeling in the ashes of a broken home, now standing in the glory of his unbreakable home. This is the blessing of our great God and Father. He sent his Son so that we could become his sons, and now he ever works for the good of his children.
Desiring God