When my son was an infant, I remember feeling jealous of my husband. He got up and left the house every day to go to work, which included a short commute in a quiet car where he could listen to anything he wanted or sit in silence for a few minutes. I was a stay-at-home mom, and every hour was full of children with high needs. I had no free time—no “me” time.
I’m now a homeschooling mom and pastor’s wife who works part-time from home. My days look different than before, but I still end most of them feeling like I haven’t had any time to myself. Perhaps you can relate. Whether we work inside or outside the home, we have responsibilities to fulfill, work to do, and relationships to build. So we don’t often have free time.
But what we do have—even if it’s hard to see at first—is the opportunity to use our margin time meaningfully. These shorter pockets of time might not lend themselves to big tasks or exciting adventures, but they can still be a source of refreshment and encouragement.
Marginal Minutes Add Up
Even if we don’t have many free hours during any given week, we probably have a lot of usable minutes—5 minutes here, 10 minutes there. Whether we’re waiting at the doctor’s office or supervising a child’s bath, our snatches of time can be employed in beautiful ways.
Shorter pockets of time might not lend themselves to big tasks or exciting adventures, but they can still be a source of refreshment and encouragement.
Many of us have the knee-jerk reaction to grab our phones and scroll through social media while we’re waiting in line at the grocery store or sitting in the pickup line. But will we actually be refreshed? Or might we be emotionally drained after staring at other people’s lives? Here are five alternative ways to use those marginal minutes.
1. For Reading the Word
Have three minutes? Keep your Bible open on the kitchen counter and read a psalm or a chapter. Driving to a meeting? Listen to the Word as you go. There’s no bad time to read the Scriptures (2 Tim. 3:16).
2. For Prayer
Use the time while you’re taking a shower or walking the dog to pray for your family, friends, or church. When you get a text from a struggling friend, stop and pray for one minute for that person. I had a professor in college who prayed for specific people every time he turned a light switch on—he used those marginal seconds for good purposes (Eph. 6:18).
3. For Education
Consider keeping an edifying book in your purse or bag, ready to pull out and read when you have spare moments. You can also listen to an audiobook or tune in to a podcast that helps you grow and points you to truth.
4. For Relational Connection
Have an extra minute while waiting for a file to upload or for the toaster to pop up? Take that minute to shoot an encouraging text a friend’s way—seeking to “stir up one another to love and good works” (Heb. 10:24).
5. For Rest
If you’re in a quiet place, close your eyes and take some deep breaths, focusing on the truth that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord (Ps. 139) and that he’s always with you (Ps. 16:8).
The purposeful use of margin time can help us feel energized and spiritually refreshed.
Layer Longings into Responsibilities
But what about when marginal minutes aren’t enough to accomplish a task? One of the challenges of not having much free time is that I often have things I yearn to do—get deep time with the Lord or develop close friendships, for example—that take bigger portions of time. If I focus on what I can’t do because of the responsibilities in front of me, I’m more easily irritated and prone to imagining I’m somehow being cheated in life.
To combat this, I’ve learned to layer my longings into my responsibilities. Before having children, I enjoyed spending long amounts of time with the Lord every morning, studying the Word and reading books about spiritual disciplines or heroes of the faith. While I still have daily personal time with the Lord, I don’t have hours anymore. So I’ve baked that desire for more time with Christ into our family rhythms.
I’ve baked that desire for more time with Christ into our family rhythms.
We have “morning time” during breakfast where we sing a hymn together, work our way through the New City Catechism, read the Bible, and pray. Over lunch, we often read aloud from a missionary biography. I’m both training up my children in the faith (Prov. 22:6) and getting more time with the Lord alongside them. It’s a win-win.
Similarly, I’ve ached to develop female friendships in a full season of life. A “girls’ night” with friends happens occasionally, but never often enough to develop deep relationships. One-on-one coffee dates aren’t usually possible because my children are with me every day. Instead, I’ve embraced the joy (and chaos!) of playdates with girlfriends and their children. My friends and I can continue to grow together, even as our kids learn important skills like sharing and engaging with kids of various ages.
Trust the Lord with Time
My frustration with my husband—and the feeling of being trapped without having time for myself—ultimately stemmed from a wrong view of time and from thinking my days were ever “for” me to begin with. Although we live in a culture that encourages us to see our time as something that belongs to us, the truth is, as Christ-followers, our time isn’t our own.
God has numbered all of our days (Job 14:5; Ps. 31:15), and he alone holds time in his hands. There’s joy and peace in this truth, for we can trust that our days are full of purpose, even if it doesn’t feel that way. If you’re in a season where you don’t have much (if any) free time, trust the Lord, knowing he has good and meaningful work for you to do with whatever time you have (Eph. 2:10). Although it takes intention and some planning, well-used marginal minutes can add up and stretch, bearing good fruit in our daily lives.
The Gospel Coalition