If you’d asked me a few months ago if I struggled with envy, I probably would’ve said no. My ignorance has since been exposed by Gavin Ortlund’s Humility: The Joy of Self-Forgetfulness. Ortlund opened my eyes to see subtle ways envy can manifest itself—and the misery that follows.
Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” A person whose heart is at peace about his circumstances and the circumstances of those around him is able to receive and give life to others. Envy, meanwhile, rots the bones—bringing death to us and those around us.
Consider three things that make envy uniquely miserable and how to combat it.
1. Envy is the opposite of love.
Thomas Aquinas defines envy as “sorrow for another’s good.” Ortlund comments,
Just think for a moment about how squarely malicious envy is based on this definition. In fact, just as pride is the opposite of humility, envy can be thought of as the opposite of love. Love says, “I’m happy when you’re happy, and I’m sad when you’re sad.” Envy says, “I’m happy when you’re sad, and I’m sad when you’re happy.” Could anything be more terrible?
Envy is a sibling of hatred. Whereas covetousness is an inordinate longing for what someone else has, envy goes further, wanting the other person to lose what he has. Wherever envy exists, hatred also resides—and misery follows.
2. Envy is the constant thief of joy.
Wherever envy exists, hatred also resides—and misery follows.
Most sins have an up-front sweetness but a bitter aftertaste. Envy, meanwhile, is bitter as you do it and bitter afterward—doubly miserable. Ortlund writes,
Envy is one of the most miserable vices. Most other vices tend to produce some kind of pleasure, however momentary. But envy is nothing but unpleasant, through and through. It is the constant thief of joy.
In envy, Satan double dips in the pain he inflicts, making us pay twice for our sin. Most sins are like baited hooks—the fish may enjoy the bait but must pay with its life. Envy is an unbaited hook; it’s painful and then kills us. In envy, we dig mental ruts of bitterness. The digging itself is toilsome, and the ruts cause deadly falls in the future. Envy promises joy but multiplies pain.
3. Envy turns any heaven into hell.
Envy can take any gift of God and make it rot. As Ortlund observes,
There is no joy in your life that cannot be destroyed by envy. No matter what you have, envy can say, “Yes, you might have X, but you don’t have Y.” . . . “Yeah, you might have gotten into that college, but you didn’t get into that one.” “Yeah, you might be making good money, but you don’t have enough time to enjoy it.” “Yeah, your church might be growing, but you don’t have the opportunities that so-and-so has.” . . . The ultimate expression of envy came in the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were literally in paradise, but envy came along and said, “Yeah, you may be in paradise, but you’re not God.” There is no heaven that envy cannot make into a hell.
Ortlund’s words underscore the sharp contrast between gratitude and envy. Whereas gratitude says, “I don’t have X, but I’m thankful I have Y,” envy says, “I have Y, but I refuse to be happy until I have X.” Envy doesn’t merely hinder joy; it rejects it. Envy and joy cannot coexist.
How Can We Combat Envy?
One of Ortlund’s suggestions for combating envy has been transformational for me: pray for God’s blessing on those you’re tempted to envy. Ortlund gives a powerful real-life example:
My brother Dane recently wrote an outstanding book (I’m guessing you’ve heard of it!) entitled Gentle and Lowly. . . . By God’s grace, I don’t think I have particularly struggled with envy over the success of Dane’s book. But I wanted to make sure early on that I wouldn’t get anywhere near envy, because I thought it might be a temptation. So I made a practice, every time I heard about how God had used Dane’s book, to pray that God would use it even more. (I can pray this sincerely because it’s such a fantastic book.) Every time I hear about how many copies have been sold, I pray even more will sell. I pray that the book will keep on selling until every person on earth has five copies, and then we can start shipping them into outer space to bless the aliens.
After reading about Ortlund’s practice, I identified three men I’m tempted to envy in my life. I made a commitment to pray for these men every morning—not vague prayers, but prayers for their greater blessing in the areas I’m tempted to be envious about. After a few weeks of daily prayer, I noticed something beautiful: Not only had temptations to envy decreased, but genuine affection for these men had increased. The more I prayed, the more I loved these men and actually wished for their greater blessing. Praise the Lord!
Envy and joy cannot coexist.
Another effective tool is to encourage the people we’re tempted to envy. If you’re tempted to envy someone’s physical appearance, tell her she looks beautiful. If you’re tempted to envy someone’s house, comment on how much you love her place. Ortlund notes that the more you pray for and bring blessing to someone, “the more the tentacles of envy around your heart are weakened.”
Like allowing soap to penetrate the deepest caverns of a dirty wound, we must allow humility to penetrate the deepest caverns of our envy. As we pursue humility—including by praying for and encouraging those we’re tempted to envy—we can be confident God will reward us with life, joy, and freedom (Prov. 14:30; 22:4).
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