Christian men struggle with pornography at alarmingly high rates and Christian women aren’t immune to this struggle either. If you’re a Christian of either sex ensnared in pornography, it can be a lonely place to be. But don’t despair. There’s hope in Christ.
You can find multiple resources to help with this fight, but as a place to start, here are five practical ways to respond.
1. Don’t Rationalize
Years ago, I heard of a pastor caught up in pornography. When confronted by other church leaders, he replied, “Most guys struggle with it.” In other words, “It’s not that big of a deal.”
Sadly, his reaction is all too common.
In your heart, you know viewing porn is a big deal. First and foremost, it’s sin. Not only are you sinning against a holy God, but if you’re married, you’re sinning against your spouse (Matt. 5:27–28). Tim Challies has argued that when you look at porn, you commit at least eight sins.
There are plenty of ways one might justify it: At least I’m not committing adultery. Or: There’s worse stuff I could be viewing. But you’re called to be a vessel of purity and righteousness unto God. And his Word is clear:
Sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. (Eph. 5:3–5)
The first step to forgiveness and recovery is to stop rationalizing your behavior. Nobody addicted to porn will find victory by minimizing it. Healing begins with acknowledging your sin before God (Ps. 32:5). Also, confess to particular people who should know—your spouse, a church leader, or a trusted friend (James 5:16).
Don’t try to hide your sin.
2. Repent
Having confessed your sin, it’s time to repent. Think of repentance as doing a 180 in how you think and live (Acts 26:20). You’re acknowledging you were wrong and God was right. You’re confessing your need to change.
Nobody addicted to porn will find victory by minimizing it.
Repentance is characterized by godly sorrow and genuine grief. As Job confessed, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore, I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:5–6).
3. Receive
The glorious news of the gospel is that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). You’re not such a spectacular sinner that you’re beyond the grace of God. Through the atoning work of Christ, God will forgive you (Titus 3:4–7).
As you move forward in faith, continually remind yourself of who you are in Christ. You’re his precious child. Yes, you’re a sinner, but that doesn’t define you. Never forget you’re known and loved by God and there’s a rich storehouse of grace available, never to be exhausted (James 4:6).
4. Resist
You’re engaged in an intense spiritual battle that won’t go away anytime soon. Once you’ve acknowledged your sin, repented of it, and received God’s staggering grace, the Enemy of your soul won’t be happy. He’s ready to wage war on you.
No wonder the Bible says, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith” (1 Pet. 5:8–9, emphasis added). The Devil would like nothing more than for you to fall back into the snare of pornography. You must therefore fight with diligence and all the spiritual resources God has provided (Eph. 6:10–18). Waging this battle in your own strength simply won’t work.
If you’re going to resist the overwhelming temptation of pornography, it’s vital to cut it off at its root (Mark 9:43–48). Ask yourself the following:
Where are you viewing it?
When are you viewing it?
How many times a month on average do you view it?
Is it just through the internet, or are you accessing it elsewhere?
Asking such questions helps as you strive to minimize or eliminate access. Given the sex-saturated world we inhabit, this won’t be easy, but there are steps you can take. When tempted, have a trusted friend you can call and pray with. Memorize relevant Bible verses such as 1 Corinthians 10:13. Set up safeguards to restrict your access to porn. God’s Word exhorts us to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor. 6:18). Like Joseph, we must run as fast and as far from it as we can (Gen. 39:11–12).
5. Renew
Those caught up in pornography commit the sin of idolatry. They look to images—instead of to God—to find satisfaction and joy in their hearts. The Bible presents a glorious alternative: “Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith” (Heb. 12:1–2, emphasis added).
Waging this battle in your own strength simply won’t work.
While pornography can excite us for a time, it never lasts—it only ever leaves us feeling empty and unsatisfied. In contrast, God in Christ offers eternal joy, lasting satisfaction, and contentment that transcends our circumstances.
No matter what stage of the journey you’re at in finding freedom from porn, look to Jesus. Renew your commitment to the Lord. And if you’re married, renew your commitment to your spouse. Strive to love her and cherish her as you ought (Eph. 5:22–33). God has made us as sexual beings, and that desire is meant to be expressed exclusively within biblical marriage (Job 31:1; Heb. 13:4). Give your spouse the attention you once gave to porn, and then give her more.
It’s not an easy road, but always remember the battle belongs to the Lord. If you succumb to temptation, repent. If you continue to sin, continue to repent.
Don’t give up! There’s victory through the power of the Holy Spirit and the promises of the gospel.
The Gospel Coalition