You may be familiar with Dr. Peter Kreeft, a popular Christian author, philosopher and apologist whom many have compared to being a modern-day C.S. Lewis.
Along with serving on the faculty at Boston College for years, Dr. Kreeft has written over 80 books, including “The Handbook of Apologetics,” “Making Sense Out of Suffering” and “The Philosophy of Jesus.” A Catholic, the 89-year-old recently participated in an interview that’s gone viral – and for very good reason.
Dr. Kreeft sat down with Australian-American author and speaker Matt Fradd, who is host of the podcast “Pints With Aquinas.” Part of the Daily Wire network, Fradd originally began the show to discuss Aquinas’ work, “Summa Theologiae.” But this conversation wasn’t about Thomas Aquinas but rather Peter’s career, and specifically his marriage and the recent passing of his wife of 63 years, Maria Antoinette Kreeft.
“What advice do you have for someone watching this who’s newly married or who is about to be?” asked Fradd. The theologian and academic didn’t offer up any typical counsel.
“Do you think that when you are very old, and your wife is very old, and old, and wrinkly, and fat, and not very bright or even nasty, that you will still find her beautiful?” he answered. “If so, marry her.”
He continued:
“The last view I had of my wife about an hour after she died, in the nursing home, about an hour after she died, I fell in love with her again. Here is a wasted, emaciated, wrinkled, suffering body. It’s as beautiful as a crucifix.”
Dr. Kreeft went on to remind listeners, “That body ain’t gonna last, but the soul is. So, if you don’t love her soul but just love her body, then don’t get married.”
As the nearly three-hour conversation unfolded, the professor remained candid.
“It was, like every marriage, a blend of joys and sorrows. But when she died, I felt that I’ve written over a hundred books, and the most important book I ever wrote was my marriage. That was my primary vocation. She has been the best thing in my life, the most important thing in my life.”
Were the pain and struggle of the last years worth the decades of their union?
“[Marriage is] a triumph,” he shared. “Of course, death is a tragedy, and nothing could be more tragic than the death of your spouse.”
You’d expect a philosopher to share more than practical marriage tips, and that’s exactly what he did throughout the interview.
“You are what you love,” he told Fradd. “You’re not just what’s inside your epidermis. You’re not just a sum total of attributes. You are what you love. And if the one that you love more than you love yourself dies, then the biggest part of you is dead. It’s like losing a limb, So it’s the worst thing, but it’s also the best thing. [Getting married is] the best thing you could possibly do.”
But Dr. Kreeft did provide some practical insights for those married or wanting to be.
“Don’t take shortcuts,” he urged. “Repent when you do. You choose to have a good marriage. Happiness is something that you choose, not something that happens to you. You’re responsible for your own happiness.”
“If you truly love and practice all the virtues that come from love, you will be happy. You may not be contented. You may not have a lot of obvious pleasures.”
Given the difficulties that Kreeft encountered as he cared for his dying wife, Fradd asked him if the experience, even as a believer, had changed his view of dying and death. The professor didn’t sugarcoat his response.
“Because I have seen how hard it is to die, and because I realized that that’s the normal process, very few people have an instant easy death, I think I’m more afraid of dying now than I was,” he acknowledged. “But I’m less afraid of death because I know that death is going to be part of God’s will for me. And there are at least moments when I want nothing but God’s will.”
Dr. Kreeft’s open and vulnerable answers are resonating in social media, because he was willing to go beyond the superficiality of simple and even sanitized answers to profound questions. In a world that celebrates the beautiful body and smile, the apologist was pointing to the beauty of some of God’s greatest gifts: human love and the eternal nature of the human soul.
In a very intimate and direct conversation, Dr. Kreeft was declaring that true love goes well beyond the skin, and the soul goes into eternity. Being married isn’t always easy, and it surely isn’t perfect, but it is still very good.
Given all the nonsense and worse in social media these days, it should both encourage and refresh us to hear a message that is so straightforward and profound: love is not merely measured by beauty and what someone gives us, but by how we love and serve them.
Peter Kreeft was forced to say a temporary “goodbye” to his beloved wife — but that loss didn’t rob him of the love he’s had for her all these 63 years. Earthly death is not the end, but the beginning of something far better – and that something is attainable and available to all those who put their faith in Jesus Christ.
The post The Most Important Book Peter Kreeft Ever Wrote Was His Marriage appeared first on Daily Citizen.
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