Young men today are falling behind in almost every category in society. Although there are some encouraging signs that this may be starting to change, many young men still struggle to gain momentum and thrive.
As a pastor and theology professor, I have been working with young men for over thirty years as we seek to grow as disciples and men of God. In those years, the challenges have never been greater, but neither have the opportunities. Especially after the isolation of Covid restrictions and the divisions of the past few years, I see a hunger to find meaning and connection and to be challenged.
But there is a gap between this hunger and the basic priorities and lifestyle that lead to finding what we are longing for. If I had to name the reasons for why many young men still struggle, I would start with distraction, dilution, and disobedience. In the face of these three threats, young men in our churches need a vision for wise, godly, joyful manhood in the present age.
From Distraction to Wisdom
We live in the most distracted society that has ever existed. Every hour, we are bombarded with potential distractions. If we treated our Bibles the way most of us treat our phones, we would be saturated with biblical wisdom. Instead, the tech geniuses have won the day, getting most young men to waste their precious attention on things that do not help them thrive.
Throughout the Bible, God’s people are commanded to pay attention to him, his word, and the ways he works in our lives. Focus and discipline have always been prerequisites for the way of wisdom. Solomon’s words could scarcely be more relevant: “My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh” (Proverbs 4:20–21).
The way of wisdom and knowing the only wise God begins with attentiveness to him and his ways. His words cannot get into our hearts unless they go through our eyes and ears first. Becoming wise and godly men requires ruthless attention to the things that matter most and lead to true life. A man never drifts to God; he must pay attention to him and diligently pursue a growing knowledge of his Creator (Hebrews 2:1).
From Dilution to Sanctified Ambition
In the Western world, few of us spend the majority of our days simply surviving. We have a lot of discretionary time. And there are societal and spiritual forces that want us to squander that time in meaningless endeavors. Making the best use of our time requires wise discernment.
Each day is a gift from God to be stewarded so we enjoy God, glorify God, and bless others. So don’t let life simply happen to you, settling for the status quo, but go into each day believing that God can and wants to use you and will draw you closer to himself because of the way you spend the minutes and hours entrusted to you. Making the best use of the time in the present evil days means living with intentional, purposeful, Christ-exalting motivation (Ephesians 5:15–16). What does this look like in the day-to-day?
Instead of asking what’s wrong with something before you invest time in it, ask, “Is this the best way to invest the precious gift of another day?” While there may be nothing immoral about playing video games late into the night, for example, ask yourself whether that is the best way to thrive as a man of God and a minister of the gospel. The music we listen to, movies we watch, conversations we have, hobbies we choose — all are investments of the limited days God has given.
Billy Graham was once asked what surprised him most about life, and he replied, “Its brevity.” May we learn from God “to number our days” so that, gaining “a heart of wisdom,” we invest them in loving God and loving others (Psalm 90:12).
From Disobedience to True Delight
The life of a disciple of Jesus is one of discipline. To many today, an emphasis on discipline sounds like legalism or mere religiosity. We certainly need to avoid such gospel-killing errors, but there is a major difference between legalism that leads to mere duty and a healthy fear of God that leads to earnest and joyful obedience.
Biblical obedience begins with an awareness of the holiness of God and what he has accomplished in Jesus to reconcile us to himself. This awareness leads to love and reverence for him that translates into doing what he says and refraining from what he forbids. God commands us to live as obedient children and be holy because he is holy (1 Peter 1:14–16). In fact, true life, joy, and stability are only found when we flee sin and delight in and meditate on God’s word (Psalm 1:1–2). Men of God are men of the word, fruit-bearing trees with roots sunk deep in Scripture (Psalm 1:3).
As believers in Jesus, we no longer live “under law but under grace” (Romans 6:14). Since sin no longer reigns over us, we are free to live as God’s instruments of righteousness (Romans 6:12). Men have a crucial leadership role to play as such instruments in the church, the family, and society. But we will never be able to lead unless we pursue focused and discerning obedience to God.
Men of Abundant Life
Christian men, we have an opportunity to be radically countercultural examples of the abundant and eternally meaningful lives God created us to have. Forsaking distraction, dilution, and disobedience will open the way to the joy and significance we were created to have. This sounds like a difficult and dramatic calling, and it is, but it is also something we move toward through long-haul, patient endurance in our daily discipline of walking with Jesus.
A Christian’s life of discipline mostly looks mundane and unimpressive. We devote ourselves to the word, worship, prayer, proclamation, fellowship, service, suffering, giving, missions, and other basic means of grace that lead to growing intimacy with God and kingdom fruitfulness. Apart from such seemingly mundane discipline, however, we will drift toward despair rather than deeper delight. Let’s not settle for anything less than the great calling God has for us in Christ.
Desiring God