The bad news is that marriage has been declining remarkably over the last seven decades. You can track that decline here, here and here. This means that the share of adults never marrying has reached an all-time high in the United States, documented here.
The good news however, is that those who are getting married seem to be doing better.
First, the divorce rate has been declining since 1980, nearly halving since then.
Second, husbands and wives today appear to be more satisfied than most people would assume. The American Enterprise Institute’s Survey Center on American Life polling found in early 2025 that “roughly eight in ten said they were completely or very satisfied with their marriages” while “only five percent report being dissatisfied.”
A recent study conducted by Focus on the Family on the state of marriage in American found that 74% of U.S. marriages report being “healthy.” Christians who took their faith very seriously in both belief and practice were most likely (82%) to indicate their marriages where healthy. This is similar to a recent Survey Center on American Life study which found that secular spouses were more likely to report having considered divorce in contrast to Christians.
This Survey Center data also showed that the friendships married couples develop drive marital success or decline. They explain a basic sociological truism that “our social environment – the people we hang around – profoundly influences our behavior.”
This research showed that married couples have lower marital satisfaction when they have friends who are divorced, explaining,
“Close to half (46 percent) of married Americans with no close friends who are divorced report being ‘completely satisfied’ in their relationship, compared to 34 percent who have at least some close friends who are divorced. The pattern is evident among men and women.”
The differentials look like this:
These researchers explain, “We can’t say for sure that these social connections undermine feelings of relationship satisfaction, but the association is robust.” However, individuals in their survey group indicated that when hard times came upon their own marriages, it was other married peers who offered helpful and encouraging perspectives on making marriage last.
Others admitted to getting unhelpful marriage advice from their divorced friends. This research report contends, “When marital troubles arise, our friends or family members could encourage us to seek counseling, advise patience, and recommend that we pay more attention to our partner’s needs rather than simply serving as one-sided validators of our relationship complaints.”
Some of the best advice in strengthening marriage is the simplest. Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor, explains there are four basic steps for a man to save and strengthen his marriage.
1. Develop the practice of having more fun together with your wife.
2. More eye contact: Look your wife in the eyes when talking to her.
3. ABT: Always be touching … in simple ways.
4. Regularly read aloud to each other.
Professor Brooks says that for couples who have found themselves living as roommates in the ordinary slings and arrows of everyday life, these four simple things will renew your marriage. Another valuable point to add to this is: Always be willing to forgive.
Earlier this year, the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) published a report explaining four research-proven ways to develop greater happiness in a strong and stable marriage.
1. Be Fully Committed to Your Spouse and Your Marriage
The scholars authoring this report explain, “For husbands, completely agreeing that their marriage was one of the most important parts of their lives was linked to a 234% increase in the odds of being very happy in their marriage relative to other less committed husbands.” The same figure was a remarkable 399% for wives!
2. Be Protective of Your Spouse
This IFS report admits, “The biggest surprise of this new study was the second factor that we found to be strongly predictive of a flourishing marriage for both wives and husbands – having a highly ‘protective’ spouse.” It adds, “In fact, wives who felt that it was ‘definitely true’ that their husbands are protective were 137% more likely to be very happy in their marriage than their peers who rated their husbands as less protective.”
3. Participate in Shared Church Attendance
These scholars report, “Our analysis found that wives who attended church regularly with their husbands had odds of being very happy in marriage that were 112% higher than women who attended less often or not at all.” What is more, “For husbands, regular shared church attendance was associated with a 212% boost in their odds of being very happy in marriage compared with their less religious or non-religious peers.”
4. Establish a Pattern of Going on Regular Date Nights
Wives having regular date nights with their husbands were 56% more likely to report being “very happily married” compared to wives who went on date nights less often. Husbands who reported regular date nights with their wives had odds of being “very happily married” 114% higher than their peers who had fewer or no dates with their wives.
Having a happy marriage is one of the greatest riches in life, for men and women and their children. Developing a strong, thriving marriage is not rocket science nor a crap shoot. It stems from a few deliberate choices and consistent actions:
Are the friends we make and spend time with champions and encouragers of our marital success?
Have we built up helpful and simple habits that research shows strengthen marriage and lead to greater happiness and love?
Couples who have done these things, which are attainable by anyone regardless of education or income, are consistently shown to have enduring marriages and happier lives. This is very good news indeed.
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