Hindsight, it has been said, is 20/20. Perhaps. It is certainly easier to see the whole picture when you’re not stuck in the details. But 20/20? To expect such clarity in the backward gaze probably presumes too much.
However, though our sight may be incomplete, when we look back on our past we can discern some of the contours of our lives. We may better recognize the influence of a friend or the consequences of a seemingly small decision.
Faith improves our vision. When we view our past through the clarifying lens of God’s sovereignty, we recognize God’s gentle guiding hand, even in the darkest valleys we traversed. Though his eyes “were dim with age,” such was Jacob’s sight as he looked back on the many years God gave to him (Genesis 48:10). Leaning in to bless his grandsons, he remembered the tender care of his God.
Looking back with Jacob at the nearly finished picture of his life, we learn what it means to regard our own troubles with the bright eyes of faith.
‘All My Life Long’
Jacob did not enjoy an idyllic life. The account of his tumultuous years, spanning one of the longest sections of Genesis (chapters 25–35, 37, 42–49), does not make for pleasure reading. A decades-long wrestling match began (quite literally) in the womb. Born clutching Esau’s heel, he was named “Cheater,” a moniker that hung like a banner over much of his life (25:22–26). Constantly contending with Esau, Jacob gained both a birthright and a blessing that were not his own (25:29–33; 27:27–29), resulting in a fearful flight from his brother’s murderous rage (27:41–45).
Life did not get easier away from home. Laboring under Laban’s underhanded ways, Jacob gained two contentious wives (and two concubines) and felt compelled to cheat his uncle for fair wages. Jacob’s children also brought trouble upon him. They made him a stench to the inhabitants of Canaan where he sojourned (34:30), slept with his concubine (35:22), and sold his favorite son into slavery (37:28). Furthermore, Jacob walked with a limp (32:31), outlived both his wives (35:19; 49:31), and as an old man became a refugee in Egypt due to a severe famine (45:9–11).
One might expect Jacob to look back on his 130 years with bitterness, expressing anger at God and ending his days like Mr. Potter, “a warped and frustrated old man.” Certainly, Jacob recognized his life had been hard. “Few and evil have been the days of the years of my life” (47:9). Certainly, he spent many of them in deep sadness (37:35). Yet when he turned to bless his grandsons, what did he say?
The God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
the God who has been my shepherd all my life long to this day,
the angel who has redeemed me from all evil, bless the boys. (48:15–16)
“God has been my shepherd,” Jacob confesses. “The vale of darkness and tears has been long, winding, and deep. My mistakes and sinful decisions have been grievous, their consequences sharp and enduring. My losses have been great. I have not understood the ways in which he led. But God has been my shepherd still. He has redeemed me from all evil.”
Nothing is glossed over — the days have indeed been evil. Yet all of his past falls under the redemptive power of God, who brings home those who go out weeping with shouts of joy (Psalm 126:6).
This is the God of my fathers.
Seeing Through the Dark
At any point in life, reflecting on past circumstances, whether distant or recent, may lead us to say with Jacob, “Few and evil have been my days.” Peering into deep valleys, vision dims. Often, the recurring aftershocks of trials tempt us to cast our eyes down to the ground, looking no further than our own two feet. Locked into a narrow field of vision, we lose sight of the Shepherd, and faith falters. How can we learn to see, by faith, through the dark? Jacob’s prayer offers us three directions to look: back, up, and forward.
LOOK BACK
Jacob looked back to his forefathers. He recognized that they walked before God, and he trusted that God went with them into the land of their sojourning. Jacob saw God’s faithfulness in their lives; by patient faith, he recognized the same faithfulness in his own.
Seeing difficult circumstances with the bright eyes of faith often requires that we look back to God’s past faithfulness. Remember how he drew you to himself in saving faith. Remember a past provision in a moment of need or an encouragement in a time of doubt. Talk to older saints about God’s faithfulness through long years, or read biographies of those who have gone before.
He who has led you and countless others through pain and heartache does not change. Looking back through the brief, tumultuous history of our own lives and those of our brothers and sisters in the faith reminds us of God’s blessed constancy and calls us to renewed faith.
LOOK UP
Jacob looked up to his good shepherd. For him, the felt evil of his days did not have the final word. God was his redeemer. He might not have been able to see the whole picture, but he knew that God did, and he knew that he was not responsible for putting all the pieces of his own life in place.
The impulse to grab at something to stabilize ourselves is strong when we feel out of control. Frantically, we reach for what seem to be strongholds, only to find that they come loose under pressure. Our own strength to bear up will fail. A trusted relationship might give way. The security of our five-year plans disintegrates.
As we run the race set before us, we must take our eyes off our own feet. With Jacob, we learn to look up to the One who can and will redeem us “from all evil.” That is, we look to Jesus, he who “is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2). We hold fast the anchor chain secured in him, trusting his power and promise to keep us. “Our God is in the heavens” (Psalm 115:3). Looking up to him, our gaze pierces dark clouds, doubt is driven away, and we rest assured that his face shines upon us.
LOOK FORWARD
Jacob looked forward to God’s future grace. “Bless the boys,” he prayed, “and in them let my name be carried on, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth” (Genesis 48:16). Neither Abraham, Isaac, nor Jacob would see the fulfillment of the great covenant first made in Genesis 12. They would join the ranks of those who greet the things promised from afar (Hebrews 11:13). Even still, evil days would not speak the last word over their lives. Faith meant trusting that the fulfillment longed for was yet to come.
So, we too learn to look forward, counting ourselves as strangers and exiles on the earth. The full measure of God’s blessing, which he has promised and for which we rightly long, will be known not in the present age but in that to come. We have obtained an inheritance, yes; we have yet to acquire possession of it (Ephesians 1:11, 14). The hardships of our pilgrimage, whether short or long, are grains of dust in comparison to the mountain of glory that is to be ours. Jacob could count his sons and grandsons; he could not count the stars. When days are dark, when hardship strikes, eyes of faith look forward in hope — and not first to immediate relief but to that day when sorrows and pains are wiped away and all things are made new.
Christians may say with Jacob, “Few and evil have been the days of the years of my life.” With him, may we also learn to gaze by faith upon him who is eternal, thus traveling our dark paths with brightened eyes.
Desiring God