“Children are such a gift, aren’t they!”
“They’re just so precious.”
“It will go by so fast.”
If you’re a parent of young kids, you’ve no doubt heard these well-intended sentiments. I have. And while you’re grateful to be a parent, you’re also probably processing the amount of change that’s taken place in your life.
Engagement with your local church is one of those changes.
It’s a common story: Before you had a child, your church was a life-giving community. You were a valued volunteer. Mission trips and weekend events were always on the table. You could get to church early and be one of the last to leave. Now? You go to the service and leave right after (if you make it to church at all). You’ve certainly taken a break from serving, and you’re wanting to be served for a change.
How do we continue to follow Jesus as part of God’s community in this beautiful yet disorienting season? As a father of four young children, I understand the dynamics at play. And as a pastor who regularly witnesses his heroic wife take all four kids to church, I have emotional skin in the game.
It may be time to adjust your goalpost and devote all your energy to one singular practice: Just make it to church.
Make it your goal to attend your church gathering. Plain and simple. Get there late? Great. Late every Sunday? I call that consistency! You may spend more time bouncing your baby in the hall than sitting in the gathering. It’s going to feel clunky and even pointless at times. You have permission to experience it all. But Sunday after Sunday, keep leaning into the simple discipline of attending your church gathering.
Here are four reasons this investment will pay dividends.
1. Recharging your soul gets to be the priority.
Gathering with your local church on the Lord’s Day gives you a rest that sleeping in and cooking up a Sunday brunch cannot replace. There’s something mysterious and miraculous about sitting under God’s Word and collectively singing with God’s people. It does something to us that nothing else can. This is God’s gracious design. You need it, and so does your child.
Sunday after Sunday, keep leaning into the simple discipline of attending your church gathering.
Your spiritual vibrancy may be the best thing for your child’s spiritual journey. We know the axiom—most things are caught, not taught. So let’s help our kids to catch the most spiritually filled up and nourished version of us. Even if you struggle to keep up with your daily Bible reading plan, you can join your church’s weekly reading, teaching, and singing plan.
2. You’ll receive all the benefits of a village.
I’ll never forget when we had our first child and those in our church community set up a meal train, brought over baby clothes, and gave us hand-me-downs. We were reminded in tangible ways that we weren’t on our own. We were also given the intangible gift of perspective: The seasoned grandparent reminded us of how fleeting the current moment is. Parents with teenagers shared the challenges they faced when their kids were little.
If you’ve recently started attending a new church or are looking for one, these benefits may seem like the privileges of the integrated few. I invite you to allow your local church to be your village. Take a chance. The luncheon for new guests that the host announced? Show up (free food, after all). Share about your desires to get connected. Open up about how you’re adjusting to parenthood. Start turning up and give yourself opportunities to receive the benefits of community and connection the church wants to share.
3. Eternal investment is being made for your child.
According to a Barna study, spiritual beliefs are generally shaped before age 12. If this is true, the support of a local church seems critical so families don’t have to “go it alone” in pouring into their children’s biblical and spiritual formation.
Spiritual habits in the household are indispensable. But think about the additional exposure to friendships, mentors, Bible study lessons, and spiritual moments a local church provides. The child will be far better resourced in a spiritual community than merely in a family. Plus, it’s building muscle memory—when the child becomes an adult, he or she may think, We go to church because mom (or dad) always took us to church.
4. You’re discipling others by your example.
Showing up to church 20 minutes late after checking in your kid isn’t a failure but an example. You showed up. You’re inspiring other parents of young children to continue to faithfully gather for worship. You’re modeling for singles and college students a beautiful vision of what family life ought to look like. You’re encouraging empty nesters and older people to continue to engage the church no matter their life season.
You get to contribute to a better church culture by your presence. So you might not be able to serve in the college ministry for a season, but you get to pave the way as a future mentor for those students when they have their own families.
New Leg of the Race
When we enter new life seasons, we often want to default to the familiarity and comfort of the past. This is natural. We can grieve what’s been lost while wholeheartedly embracing the gifts and challenges of Christian parenthood.
You get to contribute to a better church culture by your presence.
We’re also invited to draw a line in the sand and say, “I’m free from what used to be. I’m done going back to what once was, and I’m moving into the beautiful next stage God has invited us into.” The Lord doesn’t despise small beginnings (Zech. 4:10).
You’re in a new leg of your race. So run, walk, and even crawl when you need to, but make it to church—because over time, your church will help make you, and your child, more into Christ’s image.
The Gospel Coalition