When we recently moved to Washington, DC, there was one tourist attraction on the top of my list to visit: Arlington National Cemetery. Eighteen years ago when I went for the first time, it was an interesting historic place. But as I prepared for my second visit nearly two decades later, it was different.
Now I have friends buried there.
Visiting the Dead
I went alone with a dozen yellow roses from the grocery store. I walked through the visitor center, tears blurring my vision, and boarded a bus that would take me to the individual grave sites. I went to Mark’s grave first, in Section 60. As I searched for his name, I recognized many others. At the military school I attended, students memorize the full names of hundreds of classmates. The names I recognized were my peers.
From Mark’s stone, I glanced up and saw the markers for two of my husband’s friends, Doug and Megan. I only brought one bouquet, intending to lay three flowers at the four graves I came to visit. But now I wanted to place a flower at each name I recognized. I didn’t bring nearly enough.
I placed the first flower and stood there, staring at the white granite and a name etched so clearly. Now what? I bowed my head and waited. Only tears.
Praying for the Living
Do I pray? This was a holy moment, and my desire was to cry out to the Lord. But who or what should I pray for? Not my fallen friends. We don’t pray for the dead, only for the living. Should I pray for comfort for their families? Or that their deaths wouldn’t be in vain? Or that God would be glorified somehow? Spiritual angst intermingled with grief and confusion.
Then relief swept over me as I remembered that Jesus told us how to pray. So I prayed the Lord’s Prayer (Matt. 6:9–13).
My desire was to cry out to the Lord. But who or what should I pray for? We don’t pray for the dead, only the living.
When we pray the Lord’s Prayer in times of sorrow and suffering, we have a tendency to emphasize “Thy kingdom come.” We cry out, Deliver us from this sorrow and pain and confusion and just come already!
But standing in the cemetery, the Holy Spirit led me to pray for myself, for the here and now. The bodies of these friends are in the ground. Their time is done. While we rightly take our grief to the Lord and look forward to Christ’s return, we must also remember that God is still at work today, on earth among the living.
Thy will be done on earth—and in me—as it is in heaven, I prayed over and over again. Thy will be done on earth—in me and through me. Use me how you will.
Instrument of God’s Will
As I walked down a hill at the end of my visit, I passed an area with older markers, gravestones in different shapes and sizes, with names and dates from the 19th century. The inscription on one stone in this military cemetery caught me off guard: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will inherit the earth.”
It reminded me of the prayer, penned by Francis of Assisi, that we sang in my teen years at my high school in East Africa. When I pray Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, this is my desire:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen
There are over 400,000 graves in Arlington National Cemetery. And unless Christ returns first, I may be buried there as well. These were real people who led full lives. As we remember their sacrifice and lament the reality and tragedy of death, we can rightly look forward in hope to Christ’s triumphant return.
While we rightly look forward to Christ’s return, we must also remember that God is still at work today, on earth among the living.
But let’s not forget that as long as we have breath, God isn’t done with us. While those who died in Christ now bear witness to God’s will being done in heaven, we still have the opportunity to participate in his will being done on earth.
I’ll return to Arlington with my husband and children. We’ll tell stories of our friends. It’s my privilege to honor their families by remembering. And we’ll pray as the Lord taught us to pray, saying, “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”
The Gospel Coalition