In the history of television, there has been a handful of characters instantly recognized by a single name: Gilligan, Fonzie and Columbo, to highlight three.
And one more in recent years: Kramer.
As in Cosmo Kramer, Jerry Seinfeld’s eccentric, mooch, hipster-dufus neighbor in the award-winning sitcom, Seinfeld.
Michael Richards, who played the character, first tried his hand at improv comedy. He was a medic in the Army, and after being discharged, bounced around in various acting roles in the decade leading up to his career-defining character. In the nine years Seinfeld roared up the charts, “Kramer” became a household name, his antics and physical comedy genius water cooler fodder on Friday mornings.
Yet nobody watching could have possibly fathomed that the fun-loving comedian, admired and revered for his zest and zaniness, had been harboring a deep, awful, and difficult secret for most of his life.
Born in Southern California, Michael’s mother, Phyllis Nardozzi, first told him his father died in World War II. As Michael grew older, realizing he was born in 1949 and that the war ended in 1945, he began pushing for the real story. His mother changed the narrative, but fibbed again, telling him his dad died in a car accident.
Still not satisfied, Richards started looking for his biological father. Pressing his mother, she finally relented and shared with him the difficult truth: Michael had been conceived as the result of a sexual assault.
The Seinfeld star eventually learned his mother had first sought an abortion, but discovered it was illegal at the time. She then decided to make an adoption plan for him. But she couldn’t go through with it and chose to raise him.
Writing in his memoir, Michael Richards revealed:
“I had to come to terms with knowing I was unwanted or that my mother wanted to get rid of me,” he reflected. “It is definitely something that I have had to look into over the years to discover how my anger arises out of a feeling of inferiority. I have a temper, and it stems from that unwantedness, not being acceptable, not being understood, not being good enough to be liked or even loved.”
Michael Richards’ story and feelings are his own, and Phyllis Nardozzi is no longer alive to share her perspective. But as a rule, birth mothers who choose to make adoption plans don’t do so because they don’t “want” their child. Instead, they pursue adoption because they either feel ill-equipped to raise them or want them to have what they know they cannot give them. Often both emotions are simultaneously true.
Conversations with abortion-minded women also reveal that these mothers are scared and reeling, overwhelmed and under supported. They’re also fed lies and given very bad advice. At a time when they need help, groups like Planned Parenthood only hurt.
Phyllis Nardozzi chose life, and the world was blessed with the life and comic genius of Michael Richards. Could she have done a better job of communicating with her son, explaining things to him in age-appropriate ways that would not have triggered such trauma and pain? Yes. But she was struggling and likely not being guided by wise and informed people.
Pro-life advocates are often criticized for not supporting abortion for victims of rape. It would be impossible to overstate the emotional trauma of such a crime. Our hearts break for women who have been violated and attacked.
We also believe that adding another evil on top of evil doesn’t improve a difficult situation. Children conceived in rape, like Michael Richards, are entitled to live. As a Christian community, we’re in a unique position to provide support for these women and their children – and for years to come.
Speaking of the rape revelation, which Richards only came to learn about in the late 1980s, the Seinfeld star says, “This is close to my heart and soul. This is very deep stuff.”
Michael Richards says he “found faith” during an extended self-imposed exile following an awful outburst at a comedy club in 2006. It’s not clear from his interviews or writings what that faith entails, but it would be good to pray for Richards and others who are struggling with similar emotions of abandonment and self-worth.
Focus on the Family has a world class counseling team eager to provide help and perspective. To request a consult with Focus on the Family’s Counseling Department, call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays from 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (Mountain Time), or complete our Counseling Consultation Request Form.
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