It’s an adage that you never know when moments become memories until after they happen, and that was certainly the case this past Monday night.
Our middle son is finishing up his first year of Trail Life USA, the faith-based scouting organization that was founded in 2013.
It was early evening, and the windows of the old church chapel were open. The boys were called to attention for the posting of the colors. Up the aisle a contingent of them marched, one carrying the American flag and the other hoisting the troop flag. A reverent hush filled the room. Sun streamed thru the windows, bathing some of the boys in the light.
Standing in the back of the room, I had a good view of the entire troop of boys. Being varying ages, they were various shapes and sizes. Being boys, they were also in varying states of preparation. They were all saluting the flag, though some were standing taller and straighter than others.
Weeks early, the troop master, who is an active-duty helicopter pilot, taught the boys how to stand at attention. Most had taken his lesson to heart.
Looking across the sea of young men, it struck me how they were all in the throes of classic American boyhood. As members of Trail Life, they’re learning countless skills – everything from first aid to tying knots to camping and cooking. Most importantly, it’s all framed and motivated with the motto to “Walk Worthy” – which is based on Paul’s charge to the Colossians:
“So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God” (Col. 1:10).
Of the many terrific characteristics of Trail Life USA is the commitment to allowing boys to be boys. Meetings open and close in prayer and include the Pledge of Allegiance and the Trail Life Oath. The boys are taught to love God and their country and respect authority.
You won’t find digital devices at the meetings or on campouts. Instead, you’ll find young men learning how to get along in challenging weather and circumstances. You’ll see them chopping wood, lashing poles together, sharpening knives, learning CPR. This past Monday night, our son’s group made pizza and a cobbler on an open fire.
One of the great ironies of modern life is that most of it seems geared towards adults who all too often act like out-of-control children. The world is not generally friendly to children or considerate either. We all hear way too much profanity in public places these days. It threatens to leave impressionable children with the idea that such language is normal and even acceptable.
Whether it’s rude and crude so-called “comedy” or crass movies, vulgar music or themes far too heavy for young minds, children are regularly consuming destructive content that’s encouraging them to grow up way too fast.
One of the biggest mistakes I see fathers, especially, making is assuming their young sons have the ability and maturity to discern difficult things. For example, I’ve heard dads say they allow their younger sons to watch war movies because the violence isn’t gratuitous. Only a young mind can’t usually tell the difference.
Instead, it’s the wise parent who doesn’t rush boyhood or girlhood for their children. There will be enough time to address heavier things, and more than enough issues to tackle as they age.
Wrote the poet John Greenleaf Whittier, “Oh, for boyhood’s painless play, sleep that wakes in laughing day, health that mocks the doctor’s rules, knowledge never learned of schools.”
Whether at Trail Life or your own backyard, allow boys to be boys. Turn on the sprinklers, put up the basketball hoop, turn your yard into the neighborhood gathering place. Make the fire, roast the marshmallows, pitch the tent, cast the rod, shoot the gun, pull out the toolbox and pile of wood and screws and nails. Let them read at night under the covers with a flashlight, collect rocks and bugs and other things that might make their mothers queasy.
Boyhood is like the sun that soars and warms us but sets all too soon. Allow your sons to bask in it and don’t rush or hustle away its long and glorious rays.
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