As I sat in the dermatologist’s office, I scanned the bottles of serums and ointments on display in the waiting room — moisturizers, exfoliates, anti-aging serums, under-eye treatments. Although many people (like me) were probably there for typical skin scans or skin problems, it was clear that the dermatologist was also in the business of helping women look younger.
I peered into the mirror and noticed the “eleven lines” on my forehead. Surely there’s some sort of magic cream that can reduce their visibility, I thought. When I asked the dermatologist for a recommendation, her answer surprised me: “The only cure for those is Botox.” The eleven lines were here to stay.
Our exchange made me wonder, Why do I want to erase the signs of aging on my face? Didn’t I earn these lines raising four kids, working hard, pouring myself out for others?
Shiny (and Expensive) Lies
In our society, the pressure to appear youthful and fit comes from every corner. From the ads on TV, to the filtered images on social media, to the endless beauty products lining the shelves of stores, the message is clear: Do everything you can to turn back the hands of time — and never reveal your real age!
But as Christian women, how are we supposed to think about aging? The Bible’s view of beauty and aging is an upside-down perspective compared to the world’s. Often, when we use cosmetic procedures to try to disguise our age, we’re buying into the message that our value lies in our appearance.
The willingness to endure painful, expensive procedures to enhance our appearance should make us step back and consider our motives. Are we fearful that our husband won’t find us attractive anymore, or that we’ll be single forever? Are we worried about others thinking well of us, getting the promotion, or being liked by the right crowd?
Certainly, it’s not a sin to want to take care of our bodies — we honor God by stewarding them well. But when we become consumed with looking younger or fitting into a smaller dress size, we make our bodies into idols.
God’s Upside-Down Kingdom
While some of us may not want to admit how old we’re turning, the Bible celebrates the growing number of candles on your birthday cake. Often, as Job 12:12 reminds us, “wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” Then there’s Proverbs 16:31: “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.”
Few of us see gray hair as a crown. We think it’s something to hide! Yet the Bible tells us to prize gray hairs as we might a long life devoted to following Jesus. God, through his word, wants to take our minds off our appearance (and all the fears that go with it) and give our attention to spiritual maturity instead. Suddenly, it becomes possible to celebrate becoming older as we delight to see how God has shaped us over many years.
The longer we’ve been on this earth, the more opportunities we’ve had to trust Jesus and to grow in wisdom. We’ve experienced more ups and downs; our perspective spans decades of life. God has used the trials we’ve walked through to shape who we are. Singleness, financial loss, raising children, chronic illness, bereavement — these trials have not been easy, but God has been present through each of them. Changes to our bodies can serve as a reminder of this.
Next time you look in the mirror and notice the ways your body has changed, try looking in a different way. Those stretch marks and loose skin around your abdomen — maybe they’re a reminder of the gift of children. Perhaps those dark circles under your eyes show the late nights you’ve spent counseling a troubled friend or anxious teen. That furrowed brow reveals the trials you’ve worked through, figuring out how to be a diligent friend or family member or worker. Those crow’s feet and laugh lines are sweet reminders of time spent delighting with others.
In Christ, the physical signs of aging are not marks to despise, but signs of how God has worked through your circumstances to turn you into the person you are today. Seen this way, they can encourage you to trust him with your future, whatever your fears.
True Beauty
Our desires to attain flawless skin, a toned body, or the size we were twenty years ago point to the longing to be beautiful. We so easily measure ourselves by the standards of the world. Yet true beauty isn’t found on a magazine cover, but in our perfect God.
Jesus suffered on the cross and died for our sins in the most beautiful, selfless act of love. When we place our faith in him, we are covered in his righteousness. Now, God sees us as beautiful — because Christ is.
The beauty God esteems is displayed through character attributes like grace, mercy, steadfast love, and faithfulness. Instead of focusing our efforts on becoming more beautiful through make-up, salon visits, or workouts, may we seek to emulate Christ and embrace his beauty.
As we do, we will be freed from enslavement to self. We will be like David, so taken with the Lord’s beauty that we forget our own troubles:
One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)
True beauty makes Christ visible through our acts of love. The truly beautiful use the body God gave to joyfully serve others in need, from making a meal for the neighbor who just had surgery, to speaking words of kindness and compassion to a friend walking through depression, to hugging the child that fell and scraped his knee. As Paul reminds us in Romans 10:15, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach good news!”
Notice, there is no mention of the beauty of their faces or the strength of their muscles, but their feet — so often dirty and stinky — are called beautiful. They allow us to carry the good news of Jesus to others.
Look to Eternity
Pursuing the Bible’s definition of beauty will not come easy in our day and age. But 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 reminds us of the fight to keep an eternal perspective:
We do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
As believers in Christ, we are called to have a different mindset than the world’s. We’re called to look beyond what eyes can see and hands can touch, remembering that God longs for us to fix our eyes on him instead of on our own wrinkles and bodily changes. The weightiness of life’s trials and our fears of aging pale in comparison to the riches of eternity.
Ladies, the gospel is good news for aging. Despite the added candles to our birthday cakes, we will grow more beautiful as we grow more like Christ.
Desiring God