Why We Can Be Patient When Sleep Deprived – Rachel McIntosh

I opened WhatsApp and wrote to my friend, “I’d love prayer for patience amid sleep deprivation, please!” But what I was actually thinking was: “Please pray for good sleep so I can be patient!”

I was sleep deprived because we had three children aged 4 and under. Perhaps you’re sleep deprived because your job requires you to be on call at night, you suffer from insomnia, or you care for an elderly relative. And perhaps, like me, you fall into thinking your ability to be patient with others comes from getting enough sleep.

It is harder to be patient when we’re exhausted. We need sleep—God knows we do. So praying for a good night’s sleep can be part of what it looks like to pray, “Lead [me] not into temptation” (Matt. 6:13). When we pray for sleep, we admit to our Father that our flesh is weak, and we ask him not to lead us into a position where we’ll find it hard to say no to sin.

How the Spirit Helps

But our ability to be patient isn’t dependent on sufficient sleep. When we’re in a season of little sleep, we can keep asking the Lord to give us more. But let’s not believe the lie that sin is inevitable in the meantime. Instead, let’s cry out to God and ask for the Holy Spirit’s help in three ways.

1. To Not Gratify the Flesh

Christ has set us free to “live by the Spirit” (Gal. 5:16). We were once slaves to sin, but now we can say no to impatience and irritation because the Spirit lives in us. Sleep isn’t strong enough to defeat our sinful nature—only the Spirit is. And the Spirit’s power isn’t weakened by our lack of sleep. Even when our legs feel heavy and our eyes are hurting, if we “live by the Spirit” we “will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”

The Spirit’s power isn’t weakened by our lack of sleep.

When my 5-year-old disobeys a command three times in as many minutes, I feel the tug of temptation. In that moment, I have to decide whether to lose my temper or discipline him patiently. When I give in to impatience, it’s because I chose to, not because I couldn’t help it. Sin is not a foregone conclusion because we have the Spirit in us. Let’s look to him to help us put the “desires of the flesh” to death.

2. To Bear Fruit

Just as our rebirth was a miracle—a supernatural work of the Spirit—so too is the transformation that follows. Patience is part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). Sleep isn’t able to produce the fruit of patience any more than an apple tree is able to grow oranges. Only the “Spirit of [the] Son” (4:6) can make us more like our Savior.

For this reason, our ability to be patient isn’t dependent on our circumstances. That’s why Paul was able to be patient and kind even as he endured trials such as sleepless nights (2 Cor. 6:3–10). The Spirit enables us to be patient when patience seems to us the hardest thing in the world.

3. To Remember Our Sympathetic Savior

Jesus knows what it’s like to be tempted to sin while exhausted. In fact, as C. S. Lewis explains, only Jesus knows how strong temptation is because he never gave in to it. John 4 shows us how Jesus responded patiently and gently to the Samaritan woman’s disbelieving questions, even “wearied as he was from his journey” (v. 6).

In Christ, “we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb. 4:15). This means we can tell our Savior about our struggles and they won’t be unfamiliar to him. We can come to him confidently, “that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (v. 16).

How We Walk

When we’re sleep deprived, we do all we can to gain even an extra hour, and it can feel like a battle. But let’s remember the battle that really matters is the one for godliness—and we’re not bystanders in this fight.

Yes, patience is ultimately the Spirit’s work, but we’re called to “walk by the Spirit” (Gal. 5:16). The word walk tells us we have an active role. When we wake up exhausted, the battle can feel harder. So let’s ask our Father for the Spirit’s help to be like his Son. His power enables us to walk in patience—even when we’ve only had four hours of sleep.

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